{"quotes":[{"text":"Pre-forty, you can wash your face with Tide and use Vaseline for moisturizer, toss on a little mascara and lip gloss, and you're a friggin' cover girl. Those of us on the slippery slope that is the Other Side of Forty can testify-- those days are so over. You pore over labels promising everything short of actual rebirth-- you will buy most of them for an average of $450 per quarter once-- and none of them will work. You will still be getting older and poorer with every passing purchase.","author":"Jill Conner Browne","tags":["aging","cost-of-aging","sweet-potato-queens","women-over-40"],"id":120550,"author_id":"Jill+Conner+Browne"},{"text":"Rich old people are more attractive than poor old people, so by all means, try to get rich before age sets in. Otherwise, you'll just be playing catch-up for the rest of your life and that will just wear you out, let me tell you.","author":"Jill Conner Browne","tags":["aging","financial-planning","humerous","senior-citizen","sweet-potato-queens"],"id":147557,"author_id":"Jill+Conner+Browne"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":2,"pages":1}}