{"quotes":[{"text":"In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment.","author":"Janet Evanovich","tags":["funny","mystery","stephanie-plum"],"id":71358,"author_id":"Janet+Evanovich"},{"text":"Your on your on with this one babe.'Coward.'Calling me names isn't going to get me in there.'-Ranger and Stephanie.","author":"Janet Evanovich","tags":["funny","ranger","stephanie-plum"],"id":84143,"author_id":"Janet+Evanovich"},{"text":"I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum.","author":"Janet Evanovich","tags":["evanovich","exercise","humor","plum","stephanie-plum"],"id":88587,"author_id":"Janet+Evanovich"},{"text":"Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum.","author":"Janet Evanovich","tags":["evanovich","intent","napping","plum","sleeping","stephanie-plum","thinking"],"id":135235,"author_id":"Janet+Evanovich"},{"text":"My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn.'She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action.'-Ranger and Stephanie.","author":"Janet Evanovich","tags":["funny","janet-evanovich","ranger","stephanie-plum"],"id":167215,"author_id":"Janet+Evanovich"},{"text":"Do you see that man in the black Porsche?' I asked the women.They squinted out at Ranger. 'Yes,' they said.'Your partner.'He's homeless. He's looking for a place to stay and he might be interested in renting Singh's room.'Mrs.Apusenja's eyes widened. 'We could use the income.'She looked at Nonnie and then back at Ranger. 'Is he married?'Nope. He's single. He's a real catch.'Connie did something between a gasp and a snort and buried her head back behind the computer. 'Thank you for everything.' Mrs.Apusenja said. 'I suppose you are not such a bad slut. I will go talk to your partner.:'Omigod,' Connie said, when the door closed behind the Apusenja's. 'Ranger's going to kill you.' The Apusenjas stood beside the Porsche, talkig to Ranger for a few long minutes, giving him the big sales pitch. The pitch wound down, Ranger responded, and Mrs. Apusenja looked disappointed. The two women crossed the road and got into the burgundy Escort and quickly drove away. Ranger turned his head in my direction and our eyes met. His expression was still bemused, but this time it was the sort of bemused expression a kid has when he's pulling the wings off a fly.'Uh-Oh,'Connie said. I whipped around and faced Connie. 'Quick, give me an FTA. You're backed up, right? For God's sake, give me something fast. I need a reason to stand here until he calms down!' Connie shoved a pile of folders at me. 'Pick one. Any one! Oh shit, he's getting out of his car.'....He leaned into me and his lips brushed the shell of my ear. 'Feeling playful?'I don't know what you're talking about.'Watch your back babe. I will get even.'-Ranger and Stephanie.","author":"Janet Evanovich","tags":["connie","funny","humor","ranger","stephanie-plum"],"id":174283,"author_id":"Janet+Evanovich"},{"text":"Maybe it was me,' Grandma said.'Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?","author":"Janet Evanovich","tags":["funny","granmda-mazur","humor","stephanie-plum"],"id":183276,"author_id":"Janet+Evanovich"},{"text":"Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.","author":"Janet Evanovich","tags":["humorous","stephanie-plum"],"id":219126,"author_id":"Janet+Evanovich"},{"text":"Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. 'How does he always get food stuck to him?' I asked Morelli. 'I don't know,' Morelli said. 'It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure.'-Morelli And Stephanie.","author":"Janet Evanovich","tags":["funny","humor","morelli","stephanie-plum"],"id":266624,"author_id":"Janet+Evanovich"},{"text":"I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?","author":"Janet Evanovich","tags":["funny","mystery","stephanie-plum"],"id":326021,"author_id":"Janet+Evanovich"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":13,"pages":2,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}