If you drink the good wine of the noble countess, you have to entertain her less desirable friends.

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

During these years in the small-talk wilderness, I also wondered why Americans valued friendliness with commerce so much. Was handing over cash the sacred rite of American capitalism—and of American life? On a day that I don’t spend money in America, I feel oddly depressed. It’s my main form of social interaction—as it is for millions of Americans who live alone or away from their families.

Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

How do I know you're not crazy?' she asks. 'How do I know you're not the craziest dude I've ever met?' 'You'll have to test me out.' 'You have my info,' she says. 'I'll think about it.' 'Rain,' I say. 'That's not your real name.' 'Does it matter?' 'Well, it makes me wonder what else isn't real.' 'That's because you're a writer,' she says. 'That's because you make things up for a living.' 'And?' 'And'-- she shrugs--'I've noticed that writers tend to worry about things like that.

Never miss a party...Good for the nerves--like celery.

I might be tempted to socialize more if the conversations taking place around me were half as interesting as the dialogue going on inside my head.

She said that you--' 'I don't care what she said.' I stand up. 'Everyone lies.' 'Hey,' he says softly. 'It's just a code.' 'No. Everyone lies.' I stub the cigarette out. 'It's just another language you have to learn.' Then he delicately adds, 'I think you need some coffee, dude.' Pause. 'Why are you so angry?

Every day the words that Keep-on-Dancin’ and the Gypsy imparted to me - theories, observations, advice and warnings - are substantiated and acquire deeper meaning.‘It’s not for nothing there are so many bistrots in Paris,’ Keep-on-Dancin’ asserted. ‘The reason so many people are always crowded into them isn’t so much they go there to drink but to meet up, congregate, come together, comfort each other. Yes, comfort each other: people are bored the whole time, and they’re scared, scared of loneliness and boredom. And they all carry around in their heart of hearts their own pet little arch-fear: fear of death, no matter how devil-may-care they might appear to be. They’d do anything to avoid thinking about it. Don’t forget, it’s with that fear all temples and churches were built. So in cities like this, where forty different races mingle together, everyone can always find something to say to each other.

Don't let your teeth make you lose respect by permanently keeping them opened for the sake of being friendly.