{"quotes":[{"text":"There he got out the luncheon-basket and packed a simple meal, in which, remembering the stranger's origin and preferences, he took care to include a yard of long French bread, a sausage out of which the garlic sang, some cheese which lay down and cried, and a long-necked straw-covered flask wherein lay bottled sunshine shed and garnered on far Southern slopes.","author":"Kenneth Grahame","tags":["baskets","bread","food","meals","picnics","sausage","slopes","sunshine"],"id":12820,"author_id":"Kenneth+Grahame"},{"text":"There was something sort of bleak about her tone, rather as if she had swallowed an east wind. This I took to be due to the fact that she probably hadn't breakfasted. It's only after a bit of breakfast that I'm able to regard the world with that sunny cheeriness which makes a fellow the universal favourite. I'm never much of a lad till I've engulfed an egg or two and a beaker of coffee.'I suppose you haven't breakfasted?'I have not yet breakfasted.'Won't you have an egg or something? Or a sausage or something? Or something?'No, thank you.'She spoke as if she belonged to an anti-sausage league or a league for the suppression of eggs. There was a bit of silence.","author":"P.G. Wodehouse","tags":["eggs","food","good-humor","humor","sausage"],"id":26552,"author_id":"P.G.+Wodehouse"},{"text":"The x-ray of your skull shows a large, flobby mass floating inside. I have to consult my colleagues to be certain, but it looks like a long sausage snarled into a lump.","author":"Benson Bruno","tags":["brain","funny","sausage","x-ray"],"id":79022,"author_id":"Benson+Bruno"},{"text":"[If you hear a] story about how eating sausage leads to anal cancer, you will be skeptical, because it has never happened to anyone you know, and sausage, after all, is delicious.","author":"David McRaney","tags":["cancer","food","sausage"],"id":163412,"author_id":"David+McRaney"},{"text":"Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!","author":"Andy Rooney","tags":["age","cows","marriage","men","pigs","sausage","women"],"id":276277,"author_id":"Andy+Rooney"},{"text":"A sausage is an image of rest, peace and tranquility in stark contrast to the destruction and chaos of everyday life.","author":"Tom Robbins","tags":["another-roadside-attraction","peace","sausage","tom-robbins","tranquility"],"id":421364,"author_id":"Tom+Robbins"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":6,"pages":1}}