{"quotes":[{"text":"Like kids who only ever get socks for Christmas, but still believe with all their hearts in Santa.","author":"Barbara Kingsolver","tags":["christmas","heartbreaking","metaphor","santa"],"id":11838,"author_id":"Barbara+Kingsolver"},{"text":"The door opens with a rusted jingle, and an animatronic Santa insults my moral virtue three times. Ho, ho, ho.","author":"Kiersten White","tags":["christmas","funny","santa"],"id":19691,"author_id":"Kiersten+White"},{"text":"So you say there is no Father Christmas,                                                                          You say there is no Santa Claus                                                                                         Reindeer cannot fly, it's all a grown-up lie...","author":"M.C. Frank","tags":["christmas-romance","cry","death","longing","lost","love","santa","sight","spirit"],"id":34103,"author_id":"M.C.+Frank"},{"text":"The whole concept of some stranger making his way down our chimney - not that we had one - suggested burglary more readily than generosity. Any Santa who tried it would have gotten a bullet in his holly, jolly keister.","author":"Thomm Quackenbush","tags":["burglar","burglary","chimney","christmas","generosity","santa","santa-claus"],"id":54810,"author_id":"Thomm+Quackenbush"},{"text":"Santa is like a queen bee. All the elves are his drones, who exist to feed him royal jelly, which I guess would be milk and cookies. If an elf escapes and eats royal cookies, it will turn into another Santa. That’s what all those mall Santas are. They’re trying to start their own festive colonies.","author":"Thomm Quackenbush","tags":["bees","christmas","santa","santa-claus"],"id":71243,"author_id":"Thomm+Quackenbush"},{"text":"A theist can't empirically prove that God exists but he believes in God because no one can allegedly disprove God's existence. By his logic, you must believe in anything you can't disprove. That means all things are real until disproved--including the tooth fairy, the Loch Ness Monster, Santa Claus, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, etc.","author":"G.M. Jackson","tags":["belief","burden-of-proof","disprove","flying-spaghetti-monster","logic","santa","tooth-fairy"],"id":74564,"author_id":"G.M.+Jackson"},{"text":"Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God.","author":"Scott Dikkers","tags":["advice","atheism","childhood","humor","kids","parenting","religion","santa"],"id":84745,"author_id":"Scott+Dikkers"},{"text":"Would people please stop telling me Santa Claus doesn't exist? I met him when I was a kid, surrounded by teenaged elves n stuff, one of them had a camera, and he was fun and smelt of fags n beer, I remember his big red nose too, even the hairs in his nostrils. You see I met him, sat on his lap chatted and he gave me a toy car, n yeah it was in a market, but I know he was the real Santa........","author":"Steve Merrick","tags":["christmas","elves","santa","santa-claus","xmas"],"id":85302,"author_id":"Steve+Merrick"},{"text":"Why is Santa an anagram for Satan? I mean, besides the fact that both have the same amounts of the same letters. Just consider the many other similarities between the two figures: both of them are red, both of them like to laugh, both of them give presents to children and both of them are kings of an ungodly underworld of unspeakable horror and suffering. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.","author":"Sam Logan","tags":["coincidence","humor","santa","satan"],"id":86830,"author_id":"Sam+Logan"},{"text":"Calvin: Dear Santa, before I submit life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who made YOU the matter of my fate?! Who are YOU to question my behavior, HUH??? What gives you the right?! Hobbes: Santa makes the toys, so he gets to decide who to give them to.Calvin: Oh.","author":"Bill Watterson","tags":["christmas","humor","santa"],"id":114323,"author_id":"Bill+Watterson"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":45,"pages":5,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}