{"quotes":[{"text":"I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.","author":"Demetri Martin","tags":["comedian","comedy","demetri-martin","fly","funny","humor","ironic","roommates"],"id":10217,"author_id":"Demetri+Martin"},{"text":"Speaking of banging, when’s McSailor getting home?” Kirsten’s smirk was the size of Texas.Sophie had to smile. “Crude. You’re crude, roomie.","author":"Jennifer Lane","tags":["apartment","crime","grant-madsen","parole","prison","romance","romantic-suspense","roommates","sophie-taylor","the-conduct-series"],"id":115592,"author_id":"Jennifer+Lane"},{"text":"Don't see me as a girl. See me as a buddy of yours or something.'\tHe cast his eyes downward and didn't look back up to my face. I looked down and groaned. Such a guy. 'My buddies don't have boobs, as far as I know.'\t'Because you felt them up to be sure?' I chuckled, against my better judgement. \tOnce again, his mouth dropped open.","author":"Stephanie Witter","tags":["2b-or-not-2b","college","contemporary","contemporary-romance","funny","love","na","new-adult","new-adult-romance","roomies","roommates"],"id":117367,"author_id":"Stephanie+Witter"},{"text":"When two men live together they usually maintain a kind of shabby neatness out of incipient rage at each other. Two men alone are constantly on the verge of fighting, and they know it.","author":"John Steinbeck","tags":["men","roommates"],"id":121985,"author_id":"John+Steinbeck"},{"text":"On and off the field, you're my hardest fall, Zoe. No one ever compared. No one ever will.","author":"Ella Maise","tags":["best-friends","contemporary-romance","friends-to-lovers-romance","romance","roommates","second-chance-romance","sports-romance"],"id":147894,"author_id":"Ella+Maise"},{"text":"Honestly, Evie,' I huffed, flopping back to the centre of my bed and glaring at the ceiling. 'Why don't you whine some more instead of actually doing anything?'Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness,' Arianna volunteered, leaning on the frame of my open door.'Yeah, so's seeing things no one else can, but people seem to like that about me.'Good point. Odds are, you've been crazy for years now. I'm probably nothing more than a figment of your imagination.'If that were true, I'd imagine you as less of a slob.'She sighed. 'Isn't it sad that you hate yourself so much you can't even dream up a pleasant roommate?'Not as sad as the fact that you admit how bad you suck as one.'Flashing a wicked grin, she narrowed her eyes. “ I'd use the term 'suck' sparingly around me.  Don't want to go planting ideas in my pretty,  dead head.'I threw a pillow at her.","author":"Kiersten White","tags":["arianna","evie","humour","madness","roommates","vampires"],"id":176859,"author_id":"Kiersten+White"},{"text":"His room was a sickly dual-tone of crimson and charcoal, like an Untitled Rothko, the colours bleeding into each other horribly and then rather serenely. The overall effect was overwhelmingly unapologetic but it grew on you like a wart on your nose you didn't realise it was a part of your identity until one day it simply was. His room was his identity. Fiercely bold, avant-garde but never monotonous. He was red, he was black, he was bored, and he was fire. At least to me he seemed like fire. A tornado of fire that burned all in its wake leaving only the wretched brightness of annihilation. His room was where he charmed and disarmed us. We were his playthings. Nobody plays with fire and leaves unscarred. The fire soon seeps into chard and soot. The colours of his soul, his aura, and probably his heart if he didn't stop smoking.","author":"Moonshine Noire","tags":["aesthetic","aestheticism","apathy","art","color","colour","crimson","dark","fire","gothic","life","misanthropy","playthings","psychotic","roommates","rothko","smoking","society","sociopath","soot","soul","unapologetic","unrequited-love"],"id":194908,"author_id":"Moonshine+Noire"},{"text":"No.' I pulled away just enough to lock my eyes with his. His crooked smile sent shivers down my spine. His eyes were a deep blue darkening more as the minutes passing between us were getting hotter. 'I will be the one using you, and you'll love every second, every breath, every stroke and every fucking inch of me,' he said, his lips ghosting above mine.","author":"Stephanie Witter","tags":["2b-or-not-2b","contemporary","contemporary-romance","fun","hot","na","new-adult","romance","roomies","roommates","steamy"],"id":224451,"author_id":"Stephanie+Witter"},{"text":"You're sure your new roommate won't be like the last one who wore tinfoil socks and had a tendency to occasionally urinate in the refrigerator. You're sure you'll pass Math 106 this time around. You're determined to actually join some clubs this year and not just sit around in your dorm eating spray cheese from a can and watching youtube videos about cats.","author":"Patrick Rothfuss","tags":["college","roommates"],"id":265353,"author_id":"Patrick+Rothfuss"},{"text":"He tilted my head up with his index finger. Tingles spread on my skin. 'Pain, obstacles, betrayal and all shitty things that happen in life shape everyone, just as much as good things do. Don't regret anything if in the end you can say you're an amazing woman.","author":"Stephanie Witter","tags":["2b-or-not-2b","contemporary","contemporary-romance","fun","light","new-adult","new-adult-contemporary-romance","new-adult-romance","romance","roomies","roommates"],"id":295052,"author_id":"Stephanie+Witter"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":16,"pages":2,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}