{"quotes":[{"text":"The sky was so blue I couldn’t look at it because it made me sad, swelling tears in my eyes and they dripped quietly on the floor as I got on with my day. I tried to keep my focus, ticked off the to-do list, did my chores. Packed orders, wrote emails, paid bills and rewrote stories,but the panic kept growing, exploding in my chest. Tears falling on the desktick tick tickme not making a soundand some days I just don't know what to do. Where to go or who to see and I try to be gentle, soft and kind,but anxiety eats you up and I just want to be fine.","author":"Charlotte Eriksson","tags":["anxiety","be-okay","crying","hopeless","hurt","mental-health","okay","panic","panic-attack","panic-attacks","recovery","sad","sadness","self-destruction","self-harm","sky","tears"],"id":29591,"author_id":"Charlotte+Eriksson"},{"text":"At that moment my shyness and anxiety all flooded back and I took a few steps back, and then sank to the ground; crouching, overwhelmed, covering my face. ‘What will he think? What if he already hates me? Maybe I was wrong in the first place? Maybe he didn’t like me at all.’ No matter how much I tried, I wasn’t able to produce a single positive thought to counter my panic. I wasn’t able to take a deep breath and relax. This day had been too eventful. I began to shake furiously, afraid of what was to come. ‘He hates me! He hates me!’ I thought over and over. Hot tears began to fall down my cheeks and I squeezed my eyes trying to stop them. My breathing quickened. What was I doing? I had said what I wanted, proudly, trying to be something to him but here I was: a total mess.‘What kind of a confession ends in a panic attack? GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!’ I thought furiously, my efforts rewarded with futility. The world started to spin, my mouth becoming numb for reasons I couldn’t understand, almost as if to prevent me from panicking aloud. As if I had the friggin’ courage.","author":"Anja Owona Okoa","tags":["anxiety","anxiety-attack","panic","panic-attacks"],"id":47451,"author_id":"Anja+Owona+Okoa"},{"text":"I found my way home, stripped naked, and lay on the bathroom floor, the cool tiles pushing up. Keeping me from falling. I didn't know how long the floor would hold me. I prayed Ellen would come home...","author":"Juliann Garey","tags":["bipolar-disorder","mental-illness","panic-attacks","psychosis"],"id":110842,"author_id":"Juliann+Garey"},{"text":"Yesterday it was sun outside. The sky was blue and people were lying under blooming cherry trees in the park. It was Friday, so records were released, that people have been working on for years. Friends around me find success and level up, do fancy photo shoots and get featured on big, white, movie screens. There were parties and lovers, hand in hand, laughing perfectly loud,but I walked numbly through the park, round and round, 40 times for 4 hoursjust wanting to make it through the day.There's a weight that inhabits my chest some times. Like a lock in my throat, making it hard to breathe. A little less air got throughand the sky was so blue I couldn’t look at it because it made me sad, swelling tears in my eyes and they dripped quietly on the floor as I got on with my day. I tried to keep my focus, ticked off the to-do list, did my chores. Packed orders, wrote emails, paid bills and rewrote stories,but the panic kept growing, exploding in my chest. Tears falling on the desktick tick tickme not making a soundand some days I just don't know what to do. Where to go or who to see and I try to be gentle, soft and kind,but anxiety eats you up and I just want to be fine.This is not beautiful. This is not useful. You can not do anything with it and it tries to control you, throw you off your balance and lovely waysbut you can not let it.I cleaned up. Took myself for a walk. Tried to keep my eyes on the sky. Stayed away from the alcohol, stayed away from the destructive tools we learn to use. The smoking and the starving, the running, the madness,thinking it will help but it only feeds the fireand I don't want to hurt myself anymore.I made it through and today I woke up, lighter and proud because I'm still here. There are flowers growing outside my window. The coffee is warm, the air is pure. In a few hours I'll be on a train on my way to sing for people who invited me to come, to sing, for them. My own songs, that I created. Me—little me. From nowhere at all. And I have people around that I like and can laugh with, and it's spring again. It will always be spring again.And there will always be a new day.","author":"Charlotte Eriksson","tags":["a-new-day","alcohol","anxiety","art","balance","be-okay","chest","coffee","crying","drinking","ed","fine","flowers","focus","grateful","gratitude","happiness","hope","hopeful","hopeless","hurt","inspiration","joy","lovely","lovers","madness","mental-health","music","new-day","okay","panic","panic-attack","panic-attacks","park","recovery","sad","sadness","self-destruction","self-harm","sing","singing","sky","smoking","songs","sound","spring","starving","tears","walking","well-being","wellness"],"id":234210,"author_id":"Charlotte+Eriksson"},{"text":"In my experience, the words “now just calm down” almost inevitably have the opposite effect on the person you are speaking to.","author":"Elyn R. Saks","tags":["anxiety","panic-and-anxiety","panic-attacks","panicky"],"id":311707,"author_id":"Elyn+R.+Saks"},{"text":"For the briefest moment, Jack's face formed the faintest smile as he considered fear and anxiety, the latter two of which often caused people to forget what truly mattered most.","author":"Jermaine Watkins","tags":["crisis","doubt","fear","life","life","panic","panic-attacks","thought-provoking","thoughts","thoughts-on-life","worry"],"id":321677,"author_id":"Jermaine+Watkins"},{"text":"Being stress and anxiety free is a human preset, I just show you how to 'flick the switch' to off. Permanent stress and anxiety recovery is possible quickly and simply despite what many are told.","author":"Charles Linden","tags":["agoraphobia","anxiety","charles-linden","depersonalization","derealization","ocd","panic-attacks","ptsd","pure-o","the-linden-method"],"id":322376,"author_id":"Charles+Linden"},{"text":"I get so god damn lonely and sad and filled with regrets some days. It overwhelms me as I’m sitting on the bus; watching the golden leaves from a window; a sudden burst of realisation in the middle of the night. I can’t help it and I can’t stop it. I’m alone as I’ve always been and sometimes it hurts…. But I’m learning to breathe deep through it and keep walking. I’m learning to make things nice for myself. To comfort my own heart when I wake up sad. To find small bits of friendship in a crowd full of strangers. To find a small moment of joy in a blue sky, in a trip somewhere not so far away, a long walk an early morning in December, or a handwritten letter to an old friend simply saying ”I thought of you. I hope you’re well.”No one will come and save you. No one will come riding on a white horse and take all your worries away. You have to save yourself, little by little, day by day. Build yourself a home. Take care of your body. Find something to work on. Something that makes you excited, something you want to learn. Get yourself some books and learn them by heart. Get to know the author, where he grew up, what books he read himself. Take yourself out for dinner. Dress up for no one but you and simply feel nice. It’s a lovely feeling, to feel pretty. You don’t need anyone to confirm it.I get so god damn lonely and sad and filled with regrets some days, but I’m learning to breathe deep through it and keep walking. I’m learning to make things nice for myself. Slowly building myself a home with things I like. Colors that calm me down, a plan to follow when things get dark, a few people I try to treat right. I don’t sometimes, but it’s my intent to do so. I’m learning.I’m learning to make things nice for myself. I’m learning to save myself.I’m trying, as I always will.","author":"Charlotte Eriksson","tags":["anxiety","anxiety-disorder","being-happy","books","breath","breathing","bus","december","deep","depression","emotions","feelings","friendship","gratitude","growing-up","happy","heal","healing","heart","joy","learn","learning","letters","life","lonely","lovely","mental-health","mental-wellness","mindfulness","minimalism","moment","night","panic","panic-attacks","plan","prose","recovery","regret","sad","sadness","self-care","sky","trying","well","worries","worrying"],"id":453058,"author_id":"Charlotte+Eriksson"},{"text":"Panic attacks are a lot like being drunk in some ways, you lose self-control. You cry for seemingly no reason. You deal with the hangover long into the next day.","author":"Sara Barnard","tags":["a-quiet-kind-of-thunder","anxiety","mental-illness","panic-attacks"],"id":459168,"author_id":"Sara+Barnard"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":9,"pages":1}}