{"quotes":[{"text":"I always hoped for this spark of chemistry and compatibility, a flash of clarity to let me know that this was the guy, this was the time, so I should leg go and enjoy myself. But it never came. And by no small coincidence, neither did I.","author":"Molly Harper","tags":["chemistry","coming","funny","jane-jameson","molly-harper","nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs"],"id":9620,"author_id":"Molly+Harper"},{"text":"What was that?' Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope the situation didn't escalate to the dreaded purple nurple.","author":"Molly Harper","tags":["dick","funny","jane-jameson","molly-harper","nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs","purple-nurple","richard"],"id":35503,"author_id":"Molly+Harper"},{"text":"Zeb was kindergarten teacher--a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students.","author":"Molly Harper","tags":["funny","jane-jameson","kindergarten","maturity","molly-harper","nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs","zeb"],"id":35649,"author_id":"Molly+Harper"},{"text":"Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs.'I was curious!","author":"Molly Harper","tags":["bloodsucker","funny","jane-jameson","molly-harper","nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs","vampire","zeb"],"id":40454,"author_id":"Molly+Harper"},{"text":"I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked.","author":"Molly Harper","tags":["funny","gabriel","jane-jameson","molly-harper","nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs"],"id":49095,"author_id":"Molly+Harper"},{"text":"Not one word about proposals, no matter how much she pushes,” I told my friends. “No matter what she says or how loud she cries, don’t try to throw that up as a distraction.”Gabriel’s lips twitched. “I don’t think it’s going to be that bad. It’s one woman against five supernatural creatures... And Zeb.”“You laugh because you haven’t heard my mother’s thirty-minute verbal dissertation on appropriate seasonal flower choices. We’re better off letting her yell at us for being dirty, premarital fornicators.","author":"Molly Harper","tags":["funny","gabriel","jane-jamison","molly-harper","vampire"],"id":50670,"author_id":"Molly+Harper"},{"text":"And soon we were just rolling around on the ground, cursing and screeching and ripping out handfuls of hair. Without super hearing, I wouldn't have heard Zeb whisper, 'This is the coolest thing I have ever seen.'Maybe they'll get muddy,' Dick said. 'Please, Lord, let them get muddy.","author":"Molly Harper","tags":["dick","funny","jane-jameson","missy","molly-harper","mud","nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs","richard","zeb"],"id":56713,"author_id":"Molly+Harper"},{"text":"Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet...Ew, did you...?'Yes, I met a vampire on the Internet, went to his evil love den, and let him turn me, because I'm that brainless.","author":"Molly Harper","tags":["funny","internet","jane-jameson","molly-harper","nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs","sarcasm","zeb"],"id":65228,"author_id":"Molly+Harper"},{"text":"You are the night.'I am the night,' I repeated.'You are the night.'I cocked my head, sending him a questioning look. 'I am the night?'Jane!'Why is it that when you say my name, it sounds like a curse word?","author":"Molly Harper","tags":["funny","gabriel","jane-jameson","molly-harper","nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs"],"id":94736,"author_id":"Molly+Harper"},{"text":"Get the point?' I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile.Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast. 'What? Sarcastic postkill comeback. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in situations like this?Too harsh?","author":"Molly Harper","tags":["dick","funny","gabriel","jane-jameson","molly-harper","nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs","postkill-comeback","richard","sarcasm","zeb"],"id":98491,"author_id":"Molly+Harper"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":31,"pages":4,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}