{"quotes":[{"text":"We believe in an aristocracy... Not an aristocracy of power, based on rank or wealth, but an aristocracy of the sensitive, the considerate, and the plucky. Our members are found in all nations and classes, and all through the ages, and there is a secret understanding between us when we meet... We represent the true human tradition, the one permanent victory over cruelty and chaos. We're an invincible army, but not a victorious one. We've had different names throughout history, but all the words that describe us are false and all attempts to organize us fail. Right now we're called V.F.D., but all our schisms and arguments might cause us to disappear. It won't matter. People like us always slip through the net. Our true home is the imagination, and our kingdom is the wide-open world.","author":"Lemony Snicket","tags":["all-the-wrong-questions","considerate","imagination","lemony-snicket","mission-statement","plucky","sensitive","v-f-d"],"id":48751,"author_id":"Lemony+Snicket"},{"text":"I'm afraid it's not nonsense,' Genghis said, shaking his turbaned head and continuing his story. 'As I was saying before the little girl interrupted me, the baby didn't dash off with the other orphans. She just sat there like a sack of flour. So I walked over to her and gave her a kick to get her moving.'Excellent idea!' Nero said. 'What a wonderful story this is! And then what happened?'Well, at first it seemed like I'd kicked a big hole in the baby,' Genghis said, his eyes shining, 'which seemed lucky, because Sunny was a terrible athlete and it would have been a blessing to put her out of her misery.'Nero clapped his hands. 'I know just what you mean, Genghis,' he said. 'She's a terrible secretary as well.'But she did all that stapling,' Mr. Remora protested. 'Shut up and let the coach finish his story,' Nero said.'But when I looked down,' Genghis continued, 'I saw that I hadn't kicked a hole in a baby. I'd kicked a hole in a bag of flour! I'd been tricked!'That's terrible!' Nero cried.","author":"Lemony Snicket","tags":["a-series-of-unfortunate-events","absurd","apathy","baby","black-humor","count-olaf","cruel-joke","cruelty","dark-humor","lemony-snicket","nonsense","the-austere-academy"],"id":50980,"author_id":"Lemony+Snicket"},{"text":"If you were smart,' Genghis said, 'you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends.'We never thought of that,' Klaus said. When one is forced to tell atrocious lies, one often feels a guilty flutter in one's stomach, and Klaus felt such a flutter now. 'You certainly are an intelligent man.'Not only am I intelligent,' Genghis agreed, 'but I'm also very smart.","author":"Lemony Snicket","tags":["a-series-of-unfortunate-events","clever","count-olaf","funny-humor","intelligent","lemony-snicket","lies","smart","witty"],"id":59569,"author_id":"Lemony+Snicket"},{"text":"Are you ready?' Klaus asked finally.'No,' Sunny answered.'Me neither,' Violet said, 'but if we wait until we're ready we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives, Let's go.","author":"Lemony Snicket","tags":["courage","ersatz-elevator","lemony-snicket","waiting"],"id":94162,"author_id":"Lemony+Snicket"},{"text":"The map is not the territory,' Snicket's chaperon advises him. 'That's an expression which means the world does not match the picture in our heads.","author":"Lemony Snicket","tags":["insightful","lemony-snicket","who-could-that-be-at-this-hour","worldview"],"id":101160,"author_id":"Lemony+Snicket"},{"text":"Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged swordKit Snicket (a series of unfortunate events).","author":"Lemony Snicket","tags":["funny","humor","lemony-snicket","series-of-unfortunate-events","tea"],"id":123187,"author_id":"Lemony+Snicket"},{"text":"Yes, I know,' Isadora said, and then read her poem, leaning forward so Carmelita Spats would not overhear:'I would rather eat a bowl of vampire batsthan spend an hour with Carmelita Spats.'The Baudelaires giggled and then covered their mouths so nobody would know they were laughing at Carmelita.'That was great,' Klaus said. 'I like the part about the bowl of bats.","author":"Lemony Snicket","tags":["a-series-of-unfortunate-events","absurd","bats","funny","funny-poem","lemony-snicket","poem","silly","silly-poem","vampire-bats"],"id":144742,"author_id":"Lemony+Snicket"},{"text":"We'll see what you find out,' Stew said. 'You'll find out what it feels like to be thrown from a speeding train to the rocky bottom of a drained sea. Except you won't really find out, because you'll be dead. Get it? What I mean is, it'll kill you when I throw you from this train so you'll be in no state to find out what it feels like. Get it? Due to your death by falling from a train.","author":"Lemony Snicket","tags":["humour","lemony-snicket","threats","violence"],"id":184897,"author_id":"Lemony+Snicket"},{"text":"Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences.","author":"Lemony Snicket","tags":["friendship","inspirational","lemony-snicket"],"id":188440,"author_id":"Lemony+Snicket"},{"text":"You don't spend your life hanging around books without learning a thing or two.","author":"Lemony Snicket","tags":["all-the-wrong-questions","books","bookworm","lemony-snicket","libraries","reading","shouldn-t-you-be-in-school"],"id":197077,"author_id":"Lemony+Snicket"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":27,"pages":3,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}