{"quotes":[{"text":"A celebrity farts, and everyone endures, but the unpopular will be thrased to death.","author":"Michael Bassey Johnson","tags":["admiration","admire","crowd","endurance","fart","farting","favour","favouritism","funny","humor","humour","michael-bassey-johnson","poverty","unpopularity"],"id":152,"author_id":"Michael+Bassey+Johnson"},{"text":"After all, I was once like you are, but being the right sort I got where I am.","author":"Petronius Arbiter","tags":["humour"],"id":161,"author_id":"Petronius+Arbiter"},{"text":"...His knees were held together by the skin-tight trousers, which consequently narrowed the aperture through which great quantities of malodorous, rancid dreck were shortly to emerge with great force. St John knew that this was likely to prove troublesome. Although his mid-morning bab was usually undertaken in a more perfunctory manner, he would still have been mindful enough to ensure that his trousers were well below the knee before he commenced the disagreeable act, but in his current predicament, he was in no state to dally.","author":"St. John Morris","tags":["comedy","humour","satire","surreal"],"id":173,"author_id":"St.+John+Morris"},{"text":"- 'Surely you have considered terrorist activity?'There was another pause. Then the spokesman said, in the quiet tones of someone who has had enough and who is going to quit after this and raise chickens somewhere, 'Yes, I suppose we must. All we need to do is find some terrorists who are capable of taking an entire nuclear reactor out of its can while it's running and without anyone noticing. It weighs about a thousand tons and is forty feet high. So they'll be quite strong terrorists. Perhaps you'd like to ring them up, sir, and ask them questions in that supercilious, accusatory way of yours.'-- The BBC interviews a nuclear spokesperson (Terry Pratchett \u0026 Neil Gaiman, Good Omens).","author":"Terry Pratchett","tags":["fantasy","funny","humour"],"id":541,"author_id":"Terry+Pratchett"},{"text":"Always dip your toe in the past before stepping into the future.","author":"Benny Bellamacina","tags":["educational","humour","life","philosophy","poetry","wisdom"],"id":763,"author_id":"Benny+Bellamacina"},{"text":"Five minutes after something happened might not be the best time for you to get into your Facebook and tell everybody. Men's panic does not produce God's power.","author":"Patience Johnson","tags":["art","beauty","books","change","christianity","death","dreams","education","faith","fear","freedom","friendship","funny","god","happiness","heart","history","hope","humor","humour","inspiration","inspirational","inspirational","intelligence","knowledge-religion","leadership","life","life-lessons","love","marriage","motivation","motivational","music","nature","pain","peace","people","philosophy","poetry","politics","quotes","reading","relationships","romance","science","self-help","soul","spiritual","spirituality","success","time","truth","war","wisdom","women","writing"],"id":1173,"author_id":"Patience+Johnson"},{"text":"There are two kinds of people in the world: those who love chocolate, and communists.","author":"Leslie Moak Murray","tags":["dessert","humour"],"id":1254,"author_id":"Leslie+Moak+Murray"},{"text":"So it's off with the shellsuit and on with the Armanis,Bring out the champagne and the caviar sarnies.","author":"Roger McGough","tags":["humour","poetry"],"id":1558,"author_id":"Roger+McGough"},{"text":"In every step you take, keep your feet firmly on the ground.","author":"Lailah Gifty Akita","tags":["advice","ambition","daily-life","dream-big","humour","inspirational","inspiring-thoughts","positive-thinking","purposeful","quotes","self-help","self-motivation","step","steps-of-faith","walking","wisdom","wise-words","wishes","your-life"],"id":1683,"author_id":"Lailah+Gifty+Akita"},{"text":"I truly believed that a man should not be seen to be out front on feminism. That would be just like a man to try to take over the women's movement. We'd taken over everything else in history, in society, in the world, why not feminism, too? No, I don't think so.","author":"Terry Fallis","tags":["feminism","humour"],"id":1736,"author_id":"Terry+Fallis"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":3741,"pages":375,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}