Happiness isn't happiness unless there's a violin-playing goat.

I have a pet goat.

Our word Tragedy comes from the Greek, tragos-ode: “The song of the goat.” Anybody who has ever heard a goat attempt to sing will know why.

Power comes at a price, love,' Veliss replied through bared teeth, maintaining the smile she offered to the townsfolk lining the square.'What power?'All power. The power to rule, to kill, or, in your case this fine morning, the power to incite the lust of the old goat you're about to meet.'Lust? I have no desire to incite lust in anyone.'Veliss turned to her with a quizzical expression, her smile suddenly genuine. 'Then I'm afraid you're in for a lifetime of disappointment.

IQ's are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course you wouldn't, because the line is invisible.

A Vampire!' I stammered. Then I noticed her legs. Below the cheerleader skirt, her left leg was brown and shaggy with a donkey's hoof. Her right leg was shaped like a human leg was it was made of bronze. 'Uhh, a vampire with-'Don't mention the legs!' Tammi snapped. 'It's rude to make fun.

Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.

If a tree is bent, every goat will jump on it.

You don’t expect the goat to hatch the hen’s eggs. People do what they know very well. Don’t expect someone who doesn’t know what you know to do it for you. Do it yourself.

When Geoffrey was away, the goat often took himself off. He had soon got the goats at Granny’s cottage doing his bidding, and Nanny Ogg said once that she had seen what she called ‘that devil goat’ sitting in the middle of a circle of feral goats up in the hills. She named him ‘The Mince of Darkness’ because of his small and twinkling hooves, and added, ‘Not that I don’t like him, stinky as he is. I’ve always been one for the horns, as you might say. Goats is clever. Sheep ain’t. No offence, my dear.