{"quotes":[{"text":"The logic behind patriotism is a mystery. At least a man who believes that his own family or clan is superior to all others is familiar with more than 0.000003% of the people involved.","author":"Criss Jami","tags":["arrogance","arrogant","belief","bias","clan","country","estimate","estimated","estimation","family","funny","funny-but-true","humor","illogical","inferior","inferiority","irrational","logic","mystery","nation","nationalism","patriot","patriotic","patriotism","people","percent","percentage","pride","prideful","sarcasm","sarcastic","stat","statistic","statistics","stats","superior","superiority","true"],"id":1099,"author_id":"Criss+Jami"},{"text":"Christians sometimes make themselves into elephants afraid of mice. You have the Creator of the universe on your side; not to mention, you've been given eternal life. 'Whom or what shall you fear?' To be afraid of anything other than God himself is like an insult to God.","author":"Criss Jami","tags":["anxiety","apologetics","bravery","christ","christ-jesus","christian","christianity","courage","darkness","death","defensive","doubt","elephant","encouragement","eternal-life","evil","faith","faith-in-god","fear","fearlessness","funny","funny-but-true","god","goodness","humor","inspirational","irrational-fear","jesus","jesus-christ","life","light","love","martyr","motivational","mouse","negativity","obedience","offended","optimism","pessimism","positivity","power","pray","strength","trust","trust-in-god","universe","world","worry"],"id":4189,"author_id":"Criss+Jami"},{"text":"I treat my thoughts like an old person treats their valuables: I cannot for the life of me proceed to throwing them out.","author":"Criss Jami","tags":["artist","belief","brain","cognition","confession","consideration","creativity","creed","death","discard","funny","funny-but-true","habits","honesty","humor","instinct","intellectual","intuition","irrational","knowledge","life","logic","mind","negativity","old-habits","old-person","opinion","original-thought","positivity","precious","psychology","rational","rationalization","sentimental","stubborn","think","thinker","thinking","thought","thoughts","tradition","treasure","valuable","wisdom"],"id":6887,"author_id":"Criss+Jami"},{"text":"Sip tea and coffee with those who say you can, politely stuff with cookies any who say you cannot. Because the stuff they are feeding you, be it the latter,looks strangely a bit like the little chocolate chips.","author":"Tom Althouse","tags":["funny-but-true","humor","humorous"],"id":10906,"author_id":"Tom+Althouse"},{"text":"There is a certain delightful sort of hope which the introvert can receive only by having company over...The hope that they will leave soon.","author":"Criss Jami","tags":["alone","alone-time","company","funny","funny-but-true","home","hope","humor","introversion","introvert","loner","privacy","shy"],"id":17643,"author_id":"Criss+Jami"},{"text":"Chocolate cake and a diamond ring? In bed with the man of my dreams?","author":"Cristin Harber","tags":["alpha-male","female-characters","funny","funny-but-true","romantic-suspense"],"id":17781,"author_id":"Cristin+Harber"},{"text":"It's like playing the lottery. It doesn't matter how extremely low the chances are of winning. You gotta be in it to win it. Hitting on every girl in sight is like buying a whole lot of lottery tickets. You never know, one day one of them might actually pay off.","author":"Oliver Markus","tags":["dating","flirting","funny","funny-but-true","funny","lottery","lottery-tickets","relationships"],"id":19512,"author_id":"Oliver+Markus"},{"text":"Even though I dislike being kicked by others, I do enjoy the feeling of kicking others.","author":"Yana Toboso","tags":["funny-but-true","humorous","ironic-humor"],"id":23585,"author_id":"Yana+Toboso"},{"text":"Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick.","author":"Carroll Bryant","tags":["comedy","funny","funny-but-true","funny","humor","humorous"],"id":26625,"author_id":"Carroll+Bryant"},{"text":"Dogs are angels full of poop.","author":"Oliver Gaspirtz","tags":["angels","angels-in-disguise","animals","animals-love","dogs","dogs-and-humans","funny","funny-and-random","funny-book","funny-but-true","funny-humor","funny","pets","poop","pooping"],"id":27127,"author_id":"Oliver+Gaspirtz"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":130,"pages":13,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}