{"quotes":[{"text":"Please follow these instructions:1. Stack the pages of this letter neatly. 2. Roll the pages up into a cylinder. 3. Smack yourself over the head with it. 4. Repeat. You complete ass.","author":"Leah Thomas","tags":["bestfriends-humerous","bffs","funny-and-random","funny-humor","funny"],"id":11275,"author_id":"Leah+Thomas"},{"text":"Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.","author":"Oliver Oliver Reed","tags":["funniest-jokes","funny","funny-and-random","funny-book","funny-humor","funny-joke","funny-jokes","funny","humor","humorous","humorous","humour","joke","jokes","world-s-funniest-jokes","worlds-funniest-jokes","yo-mama","yo-mama-jokes","yo-momma-jokes","your-mama-jokes","your-momma"],"id":25047,"author_id":"Oliver+Oliver+Reed"},{"text":"Dogs are angels full of poop.","author":"Oliver Gaspirtz","tags":["angels","angels-in-disguise","animals","animals-love","dogs","dogs-and-humans","funny","funny-and-random","funny-book","funny-but-true","funny-humor","funny","pets","poop","pooping"],"id":27127,"author_id":"Oliver+Gaspirtz"},{"text":"Yes, an actual full-sized camel. If you find that confusing, just think how the criosphinx must have felt.Where did the camel come from, you ask? I may have mentioned Walt’s collection of amulets. Two of them summoned disgusting camels. I’dmet them before, so I was less than excited when a ton of dromedary flesh flew across my line of sight, plowed into the sphinx, and collapsed on topof it. The sphinx growled in outrage as it tried to free itself. The camel grunted and farted.“Hindenburg,” I said. Only one camel could possibly fart that badly. “Walt, why in the world—?”“Sorry!” he yelled. “Wrong amulet!”The technique worked, at any rate. The camel wasn’t much of a fighter, but it was quite heavy and clumsy. The criosphinx snarled and clawedat the floor, trying unsuccessfully to push the camel off; but Hindenburg just splayed his legs, made alarmed honking sounds, and let loose gas.I moved to Walt’s side and tried to get my bearings.","author":"Rick Riordan","tags":["carter-kane","destruction","earthquakes","floods","funny","funny-and-random","giant-snake","humour","ra","rebellious","riordan","riots","sadie-kane","serpent","snake","sun","survive","tornado","tsunamis"],"id":27304,"author_id":"Rick+Riordan"},{"text":"I'd say,' the Ranger answered after a few seconds' deliberation, 'that he'll be heading south now that he has the chance. Back into Araluen.'How do you know that?' Horace asked. He was always impressed at the two Rangers' ability to read a situation and come up with the correct answer to a problem. Sometimes, he thought, they almost seemed to have divine guidance.'I'm guessing,' Halt told him.","author":"John Flanagan","tags":["archery","arrows","awesome","clever","cool","epic","funny","funny-and-random","funny","hilarious","knight","witty"],"id":33780,"author_id":"John+Flanagan"},{"text":"I showed him the Post-it. “You see They’re from Lily.”“Who’s Lily?”“Some girl.”“Ooh... A girl!”“Boomer, we’re not in third grade anymore. You don’t say, ‘Ooh... A girl!’”“What? You fucking her?”“Okay, Boomer, you’re right. I liked ‘Ooh... A girl!’ much more than that. Let’s stick with ‘Ooh... A girl!","author":"David Levithan","tags":["funny-and-random","teen","ya"],"id":35945,"author_id":"David+Levithan"},{"text":"Hasn’t stopped us before. And besides, if they wanted to kill us, we’d be dead by now and would be having an entirely different conversation. I wonder if I’d still be mad at you, or if we would talk in words or pictures. Maybe in smells. That would be cool.” -Janco.","author":"Maria V. Snyder","tags":["after-death","afterlife-speculation","funny-and-random","funny-but-true","funny","humor","thought-provoking"],"id":43540,"author_id":"Maria+V.+Snyder"},{"text":"Yo Mama's so fat, her ass has its own congressman!","author":"Oliver Oliver Reed","tags":["funniest-jokes","funny","funny-and-random","funny-book","funny-humor","funny-joke","funny-jokes","funny","humor","humorous","humorous","humour","joke","jokes","world-s-funniest-jokes","worlds-funniest-jokes","yo-mama","yo-mama-adult-jokes","yo-mama-dirty-jokes","yo-mama-jokes","yo-mama-jokes-for-adults","yo-momma-jokes","your-mama-jokes","your-momma"],"id":62707,"author_id":"Oliver+Oliver+Reed"},{"text":"Yo Mama’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals.","author":"Oliver Oliver Reed","tags":["funniest-jokes","funny","funny-and-random","funny-book","funny-humor","funny-joke","funny-jokes","funny","humor","humorous","humorous","humour","joke","jokes","world-s-funniest-jokes","worlds-funniest-jokes","yo-mama","yo-mama-jokes","yo-momma-jokes","your-mama-jokes","your-momma"],"id":63295,"author_id":"Oliver+Oliver+Reed"},{"text":"Some people are born to fandom, others have fandom thrust upon them.","author":"Nenia Campbell","tags":["fandom","fangirl","fans","funny","funny-and-random","funny"],"id":64835,"author_id":"Nenia+Campbell"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":112,"pages":12,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}