{"quotes":[{"text":"I lived in Miami for a while  in a section with a lot of really old people. The average age in my apartment house was dead.","author":"Gabe Kaplan","tags":["funny"],"id":75,"author_id":"Gabe+Kaplan"},{"text":"A celebrity farts, and everyone endures, but the unpopular will be thrased to death.","author":"Michael Bassey Johnson","tags":["admiration","admire","crowd","endurance","fart","farting","favour","favouritism","funny","humor","humour","michael-bassey-johnson","poverty","unpopularity"],"id":152,"author_id":"Michael+Bassey+Johnson"},{"text":"Percy looked at his friends. “I’m getting tired of this guy’s shirt.","author":"Rick Riordan","tags":["funny","humor","i-can-t","jkahsalolololololol"],"id":183,"author_id":"Rick+Riordan"},{"text":"Fuck it... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not 'we love each other', it's just 'fuck it, man.","author":"Louis C.K.","tags":["attitude","comedian","comedy","family","fuck-it","funny","honest","honesty","joke","jokes","life","louie","lucky-louie","quote","stand-up"],"id":219,"author_id":"Louis+C.K."},{"text":"I'm a one-drink woman  two at the most  three I'm under the table  four I'm under the host.","author":"Anonymous","tags":["funny"],"id":252,"author_id":"Anonymous"},{"text":"What was that you gave me to eat?' Winter panicked.A Filler Crisp,' Clover said, his eyes seventy percent concerned and thirty percent mischievous.","author":"Obert Skye","tags":["clover","food","funny","geth","hungry","winter"],"id":389,"author_id":"Obert+Skye"},{"text":"How did you get in here?' (...) 'How I got here isn't important, because I could do it twenty times again, each time a different way.","author":"Rachel Aaron","tags":["badass","badass-boast","cocky","funny","humor"],"id":496,"author_id":"Rachel+Aaron"},{"text":"- 'Surely you have considered terrorist activity?'There was another pause. Then the spokesman said, in the quiet tones of someone who has had enough and who is going to quit after this and raise chickens somewhere, 'Yes, I suppose we must. All we need to do is find some terrorists who are capable of taking an entire nuclear reactor out of its can while it's running and without anyone noticing. It weighs about a thousand tons and is forty feet high. So they'll be quite strong terrorists. Perhaps you'd like to ring them up, sir, and ask them questions in that supercilious, accusatory way of yours.'-- The BBC interviews a nuclear spokesperson (Terry Pratchett \u0026 Neil Gaiman, Good Omens).","author":"Terry Pratchett","tags":["fantasy","funny","humour"],"id":541,"author_id":"Terry+Pratchett"},{"text":"If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.","author":"Mel Brooks","tags":["funny","fly","us "],"id":766,"author_id":"Mel+Brooks"},{"text":"There is no greater crime against humanity than usury.","author":"Compton Gage","tags":["books","death","education","faith","fear","funny","god","happiness","hope","humor","inspiration","inspirational","inspirational","knowledge","life","life-lessons","love","motivational","philosophy","poetry","relationships","religion","romance","science","spirituality","success","truth","wisdom","writing"],"id":847,"author_id":"Compton+Gage"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":5739,"pages":574,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}