I was out of the war because men like this were too scared to talk about dick.

Pussy is everywhere. Dick is everywhere. Chemistry isn't.

Diesel better have a big dick, that's all she was saying.

Passion, emotion, love and romance they all look better in movies; in reality all you need is a big dick.

What was that?' Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope the situation didn't escalate to the dreaded purple nurple.

And soon we were just rolling around on the ground, cursing and screeching and ripping out handfuls of hair. Without super hearing, I wouldn't have heard Zeb whisper, 'This is the coolest thing I have ever seen.'Maybe they'll get muddy,' Dick said. 'Please, Lord, let them get muddy.

I spit out to my heart and my mind. When you collect them together, they can not show the resistance of an average dick.

Get the point?' I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile.Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast. 'What? Sarcastic postkill comeback. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in situations like this?Too harsh?

If looks could kill...Well, Dick was already dead, so nothing would happen. But Gabriel was not laughing.'See Dick,' Dick said, pointing at his chest. He then swept his hand dangerously close to mind. 'Jane. Dick and Jane. Come on, you humorless jackass. That's funny.

This, Calvin realised, as Joey grinned and told him sweetly to “Suck that dick” was what it was like to be God: utter confidence, utter trust, utter ease with yourself, no move you could not make, no tank top you could not wear, no guy who would not worship you, not ever. This was the end state. Bliss.