{"quotes":[{"text":"For the good that I would: I do not, but the evil which I would not, I do.","author":"Matthew J. Hefti","tags":["deployment","guilt","hurt","iraq","love","ptsd","regret","relationship","romance","war"],"id":20775,"author_id":"Matthew+J.+Hefti"},{"text":"We all reek of weariness. A room full of the black-soul phenomenon. All of a sudden I don’t feel so alone in the recognition of my own mixed feelings mirrored in those faces. In those faces, I see that the seemingly repugnant behavior wasn’t so atrocious after all. Everything is forgiv- able. Everything we said and did and felt was magnified by the pres- ence of something we couldn’t control, and that fact definitely brought out the crazy. Each of us will carry a balance of regret and pride for the rest of our lives.","author":"Angela Ricketts","tags":["conflict","deployment","forgiveness","war","weariness"],"id":32959,"author_id":"Angela+Ricketts"},{"text":"The Crazy feeling builds and builds. It never stops, it never ends, there is no relief.","author":"Brian Castner","tags":["crazy","deployment","head","mind","power","ptsd","soldier","war"],"id":41816,"author_id":"Brian+Castner"},{"text":"When we deployed, in our heads, the towel we left hanging next to the shower to dry, would still be hanging there when we got back. Well, it won’t be. If it is, some important questions need to be asked.","author":"Adam Fenner","tags":["combat","combat-deployment","deployment","military","ptsd"],"id":47975,"author_id":"Adam+Fenner"},{"text":"Above everything else, beyond the long hardships, one out- come is the most invaluable. The sisterhoods. The lifelong friends and bonds that will never lessen. Years can go by, and I will pick up with each of those sisters as if a single day hasn’t passed. Only we can truly understand one another; not even our husbands can fully grasp what we’ve been through with each other and how ironclad those bonds are.","author":"Angela Ricketts","tags":["deployment","forgiveness","sisterhood","war","war-wife"],"id":89641,"author_id":"Angela+Ricketts"},{"text":"So when I arrived in Saudi Arabia in August of 2001, as there was no chemical, biological, or nuclear war going on, all I prepared for was to be bored until it was time to go home. Obviously, that plan failed.","author":"Brian Castner","tags":["bomb","boredom","deployment","dream","life","memoir","ptsd","veteran","war"],"id":91098,"author_id":"Brian+Castner"},{"text":"As he moves through his day, sometimes he stops and just stares at me. There is something on the tip of his tongue. But he doesn't say it. I'm not sure he knows what it is.","author":"Melissa Seligman","tags":["deployment","emotions","family","home","love","military","reunion","soldier","woman"],"id":94756,"author_id":"Melissa+Seligman"},{"text":"At the same time that a massive deployment of biologically harmful radio frequency (RF) radiation devices across the mass population has occurred, we see the reduction of health care for the poor, sick and elderly.","author":"Steven Magee","tags":["across","biologically","care","deployment","device","devices","elderly","frequency","harmful","health","ill","mass","massive","occurred","poor","population","radiation","radio","reduction","rf","same","see","sick","time","we"],"id":105623,"author_id":"Steven+Magee"},{"text":"I did exactly what you told me to do, Nick. Didn't you tell me to just write the stupid book already? And that even doing the worst thing on the planet had to count for something? Well I can't think of anything worse than what I'm about to do, which is why I think you deserve an explanation. And maybe after you read it you'll realize why I don't have the hope that you have. The truth is this: We begin and end alone.","author":"Matthew J. Hefti","tags":["deployment","guilt","homecoming","hurt","love","ptsd","regret","relationship","romance","suicide","war"],"id":138852,"author_id":"Matthew+J.+Hefti"},{"text":"We carry the world. They did. All those young men did. They carried the world, and it was heavy, and they didn't know what to do with it. Was this the rest? Was this the war? Things had already spun out of control and they weren't always as black and white or as right or wrong as Nick liked to think.","author":"Matthew J. Hefti","tags":["deployment","guilty-conscience","hurt","iraq","lesson","love","regret","remorse","war"],"id":165354,"author_id":"Matthew+J.+Hefti"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":33,"pages":4,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}