{"quotes":[{"text":"I think now that this obsession with identifying racism, which I saw so often among Somalis too, was really a comfort mechanism, to keep people from feeling personally inadequate and to externalize the causes of their unhappiness.","author":"Ayaan Hirsi Ali","tags":["coping-mechanism","insecurity","personal-responsibility","racism"],"id":75715,"author_id":"Ayaan+Hirsi+Ali"},{"text":"I lock all my scaredness down in my stomach until the fear hardens into something I hardly notice. I myself harden into a person that I hardly notice.","author":"Mary Karr","tags":["coping-mechanism","fear"],"id":100364,"author_id":"Mary+Karr"},{"text":"That night, before bed, he goes first to Willem's side of the closet, which he has still not emptied. Here are Willem's shirts on their hangers, and his sweaters on their shelves, and his shoes lined up beneath. He takes down the shirt he needs, a burgundy plaid woven through with threads of yellow, which Willem used to wear around the house in the springtime, and shrugs it on over his head. But instead of putting his arms through its sleeves, he ties the sleeves in front of him, which makes the shirt look like a straitjacket, but which he can pretend—if he concentrates—are Willem's arms in an embrace around him. He climbs into bed. This ritual embarrasses and shames him, but he only does it when he really needs it, and tonight he really needs it.","author":"Hanya Yanagihara","tags":["a-little-life","brokeback-mountain","coping-mechanism","grief","hanya-yanagihara","loss","otp","willem-and-jude"],"id":103394,"author_id":"Hanya+Yanagihara"},{"text":"Because women tend to turn their anger inward and blame themselves, they tend to become depressed and their self-esteem is lowered. This, in turn, causes them to become more dependent and less willing to risk rejection or abandonment if they were to stand up for themselves by asserting their will, their opinions, or their needs. Men often defend themselves against hurt by putting up a wall of nonchalant indifference. This appearance of independence often adds to a woman's fear of rejection, causing her to want to reach out to achieve comfort and reconciliation. Giving in, taking the blame, and losing herself more in the relationship seem to be a small price to pay for the acceptance and love of her partner. As you can see, both extremes anger in and anger out-create potential problems. While neither sex is wrong in the way they deal with their anger, each could benefit from observing how the other sex copes with their anger. Most men, especially abusive ones, could benefit from learning to contain their anger more instead of automatically striking back, and could use the rather female ability to empathise with others and seek diplomatic resolutions to problems. Many women, on the other hand, could benefit from acknowledging their anger and giving themselves permission to act it out in constructive ways instead of automatically talking themselves out of it, blaming themselves, or allowing a man to blame them. Instead of giving in to keep the peace, it would be far healthier for most women to stand up for their needs, their opinions, and their beliefs.","author":"Beverly Engel","tags":["anger","anger-management","coping-mechanism","fear-of-abandonment","reconciliation","rejection","relationship-problems","self-esteem"],"id":132167,"author_id":"Beverly+Engel"},{"text":"Open your umbrella of creativity when glaring heat of adversity hits you unaware.' ~ Angelica Hopes, If I Could Tell You.","author":"Angelica Hopes","tags":["adversity","challenges","coping-mechanism","creativity"],"id":141496,"author_id":"Angelica+Hopes"},{"text":"There are abusive individuals whose worst little demons are greed, sloth,envy, gluttony, pride and wrath enslaved by their god which is money. They usually set their false assumptions, wrong judgments, gossips and lies forceful than the ones who hold the truth but what they missed out is that the victims of their aggressions, the targets of their wrong accusations and the recipients of their repetitive harassments carry what is truly essential and what lives longer, that is: truth and goodness, both of which shall always prevail against their vicious, evil manners.","author":"Angelica Hopes","tags":["anti-violence","coping-mechanism","evil","false-accusations","greed","harassment","misjudgment","prejudice","respect","truth"],"id":152506,"author_id":"Angelica+Hopes"},{"text":"The moments of silence are gone. We run from them into the rush of unimportant things, so filled is the quiet with the painful whispers of all that goes unspoken. Busy-ness is our drug of choice, numbing our minds just enough to keep us from dwelling on all that we fear we can’t change. A compilation of coping mechanisms, we have become our fatigue. Unwilling or unable to cut ourselves free of this modern machine we have built, we’re dragged in its wake all too quickly toward our end. The virtue of a society’s culture is reflected in the physical, mental, and emotional health of its people. The time has come to part ways with all that is toxic, and preserve our quality of life.","author":"L.M. Browning","tags":["burnout","coping-mechanism","digital-culture","fatigue","mindfulness","toxic-relationships"],"id":153336,"author_id":"L.M.+Browning"},{"text":"The most common emotional defense is avoidance (an ineffective coping skill for any stressor) as expressed through denial (e.G., 'That wasn't really bad, I barely remember it').","author":"Brian Luke Seaward","tags":["avoidance","coping-mechanism","defensiveness","denial","mental-disorder","post-traumatic-stress-disorder","posttraumatic-stress-disorder","psychology","ptsd"],"id":172456,"author_id":"Brian+Luke+Seaward"},{"text":"How often do we truly feel accepted?Are we aware of the collateral effects inflicted when we reject someone or something? How do we move on from a state of constant rejection?How do we gratefully accept rejection?With acceptance, we grow not in a constant state of rejection.","author":"Angelica Hopes","tags":["acceptance","coping-mechanism","introspections","rejection","treatment"],"id":198500,"author_id":"Angelica+Hopes"},{"text":"It registers that I am sitting there topless, but this body I am in doesn't feel like mine anymore so the half-nakedness seems irrelevant, like a rumor, something I'm supposed to care about but don't.","author":"Lauren Miller","tags":["coping-mechanism","detachment","disassociation","trauma","traumatization","traumatized"],"id":260489,"author_id":"Lauren+Miller"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":12,"pages":2,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}