{"quotes":[{"text":"...His knees were held together by the skin-tight trousers, which consequently narrowed the aperture through which great quantities of malodorous, rancid dreck were shortly to emerge with great force. St John knew that this was likely to prove troublesome. Although his mid-morning bab was usually undertaken in a more perfunctory manner, he would still have been mindful enough to ensure that his trousers were well below the knee before he commenced the disagreeable act, but in his current predicament, he was in no state to dally.","author":"St. John Morris","tags":["comedy","humour","satire","surreal"],"id":173,"author_id":"St.+John+Morris"},{"text":"Fuck it... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not 'we love each other', it's just 'fuck it, man.","author":"Louis C.K.","tags":["attitude","comedian","comedy","family","fuck-it","funny","honest","honesty","joke","jokes","life","louie","lucky-louie","quote","stand-up"],"id":219,"author_id":"Louis+C.K."},{"text":"Poetry is only the highest eloquence of passion, the most vivid form of expression that can be given to our conception of anything, whether pleasurable or painful, mean or dignified, delightful or distressing. It is the perfect coincidence of the image and the words with the feeling we have, and of which we cannot get rid in any other way, that gives an instant 'satisfaction to the thought.' This is equally the origin of wit and fancy, of comedy and tragedy, of the sublime and pathetic.","author":"William Hazlitt","tags":["comedy","poetry","tragedy","writing"],"id":358,"author_id":"William+Hazlitt"},{"text":"Luck is the bastard child of Fate and Destiny.","author":"Carroll Bryant","tags":["comedy","entertainment","humor","humorous"],"id":579,"author_id":"Carroll+Bryant"},{"text":"Okay, now I know your yanking my chain. Pigs will fly before Blake would ask for our help.' Rhoan'Better start ducking those flying piggies then, bro, because I'm totally serious.' Riley.","author":"Keri Arthur","tags":["comedy"],"id":689,"author_id":"Keri+Arthur"},{"text":"What you call idiot points, I call awesome dollars. ~Seth.","author":"Brandon Mull","tags":["comedy","humor"],"id":832,"author_id":"Brandon+Mull"},{"text":"Comedy. It was just huge in my house. Peter Sellers and Alec Guinness, Monty Python and all those James Bond movies were highly regarded.","author":"Mike Myers","tags":["bond","comedy","house "],"id":906,"author_id":"Mike+Myers"},{"text":"Being an authorized user generates more of a risk than a reward. You are putting your credit in the hands of others. The previous statement implies their mistakes, now becomes yours! - The Credit Repair Book: The Credit Repair Company's Secret Weapon.","author":"Cornelius J.","tags":["comedy","credit","credit-bureau","credit-cards","credit-repair","credit-report","credit-score","humor"],"id":1054,"author_id":"Cornelius+J."},{"text":"And okay, fine. If you have to kiss her, you have to kiss her. And believe me, I do not envy you. That's taking one for the team a little far. I mean, I think I'd rather endure the stabbing myself instead of having to kiss her.","author":"Gena Showalter","tags":["comedy","kiss","stabbing"],"id":1367,"author_id":"Gena+Showalter"},{"text":"If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.","author":"George Carlin","tags":["comedy","hilarious","stand-up"],"id":1431,"author_id":"George+Carlin"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":1032,"pages":104,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}