{"quotes":[{"text":"Fuck it... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not 'we love each other', it's just 'fuck it, man.","author":"Louis C.K.","tags":["attitude","comedian","comedy","family","fuck-it","funny","honest","honesty","joke","jokes","life","louie","lucky-louie","quote","stand-up"],"id":219,"author_id":"Louis+C.K."},{"text":"I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.","author":"Demetri Martin","tags":["comedian","comedy","demetri-martin","fly","funny","humor","ironic","roommates"],"id":10217,"author_id":"Demetri+Martin"},{"text":"Paul is a liar, he said so. (Romans 3:7.).","author":"Simon Ewins","tags":["comedian","funny","humorous","lies"],"id":10523,"author_id":"Simon+Ewins"},{"text":"What is she doing here? I wondered. Hasn't she had enough green-upping?","author":"Lisa Papademetriou","tags":["comedian","comedy","funny","humor","quirky"],"id":36313,"author_id":"Lisa+Papademetriou"},{"text":"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread.","author":"Michael Bassey Johnson","tags":["applause","comedian","comedy","exaggeration","gag","humor","humorous","humour","lovesick","madness","michael-bassey-johnson","praise"],"id":53900,"author_id":"Michael+Bassey+Johnson"},{"text":"If you pray for rain long enough, it eventually does fall. If you pray for floodwaters to abate, they eventually do. The same happens in the absence of prayers.","author":"Steve Allen","tags":["comedian","television-host","writer"],"id":78113,"author_id":"Steve+Allen"},{"text":"The ones who constantly make us laugh are the hardest of friends to know - for comedians are the caricatures among us.","author":"Criss Jami","tags":["art","artist","caricature","character","comedian","comedy","difficulty","discernment","drawing","friends","friendship","funny","funny-people","humor","laughter","mask","painting","personality","satire","sketch","trait","understanding"],"id":90986,"author_id":"Criss+Jami"},{"text":"Shut up…let me tell you, LET ME. Every time I look at your face or even remember it, it wrecks me. And the way you are with me and you’re just fun and you shit all over me and you make fun of me and you’re real. I don’t have enough time in any day to think about you enough...I don’t even think about women anymore. I think about you.","author":"Louis C.K.","tags":["comedian","louis-ck","love","romance","unrequited-love"],"id":152164,"author_id":"Louis+C.K."},{"text":"Laughter is a tangible evidence of hope.","author":"Michael Jr.","tags":["comedian","evidence","hope","laugh","laughing","laughter","michael-jr","tangible"],"id":213690,"author_id":"Michael+Jr."},{"text":"The comedian sticks as religiously to her theme as a dancer sticks to a diet.","author":"Jo Brand","tags":["her","theme","comedian "],"id":219789,"author_id":"Jo+Brand"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":28,"pages":3,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}