She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

— Dorothy Parker

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

— Dorothy Parker

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

— Mark Twain

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it.

— Moses Hadas

He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.

— Billy Wilder

CASSIO: Dost thou hear, my honest friend?CLOWN: No, I hear not your honest friend, I hear you.CASSIO: Prithee, keep up thy quillets.

— William Shakespeare

If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

— Dorothy Parker

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.

— Dorothy Parker

An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, 'If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea.' Churchill's response, 'Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.

— Winston S. Churchill

Every instinct that is found in any man is in all men. The strength of the emotion may not be so overpowering, the barriers against possession not so insurmountable, the urge to accomplish the desire less keen. With some, inhibitions and urges may be neutralized by other tendencies. But with every being the primal emotions are there. All men have an emotion to kill; when they strongly dislike some one they involuntarily wish he was dead. I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.

— Clarence Darrow