I think of birth as the search for a larger apartment.

I'd like to start a family but you have to have a date first.

When you're the only pea in the pod your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope diamond.

Most people would instantly start feeling ten years older if someone were to convince them that they were actually born a decade before their birthdate.

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

Here we have a baby. It is composed of a bald head and a pair of lungs.

Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night change its diapers and give it a bottle but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to.

Most of us cling to life as if our existence were a result of our deed or choice.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

We learn from experience. A man never wakes up his second baby just to see it smile.