{"quotes":[{"text":"Zoe stopped one last time in front of the mirror, adjusting her new American dress. She didn’t see the dress, however. She saw what the big Russian did to her. She saw what al-Qaeda did to her. She saw a person shunned by her Persian village. She saw ugliness. Every time she looked in the mirror she saw deficiency.","author":"Michael Benzehabe","tags":["al-qaeda","american-fashion","benzehabe","deficiency","depression","immigrant","insecurity","iran","outsider","persian","rape","russia","shame","shunned","unassimilated","western-fashion"],"id":2793,"author_id":"Michael+Benzehabe"},{"text":"Civil order mattered.\tZoe didn’t know why Farah continued to wear the headscarf, but most Middle-Eastern women wore modest clothing to anchor themselves to a moral order, in an upside-down world.\tZoe wore the chador as a protective shell, to erase herself, to avoid thinking, to envelop herself in the complete custody of her adopted Muslim sisters. In their care she would come out healed, able to process the bigotry that caused the murder of her Jewish parents. Then, when she was whole again, she would reclaim her place in the world.\tThough others couldn’t see it, behind the nameless, shapeless, Middle-Eastern garb, she was healing. The chador cocooned and nurtured her. Dour exteriors meant blossoming interiors . . . To Zoe. Judaism centered her, but Islam shielded her. Both served their purpose . . . For now.","author":"Michael Benzehabe","tags":["benzehabe","chador","cyber-war","exterior","interior","islam","judaism","middle-east","mossad","spy","unassimilated"],"id":55372,"author_id":"Michael+Benzehabe"},{"text":"Saul had gained his six-foot frame at sixteen, but his muscles didn’t arrive until his early twenties. Between those lost years, he was a gangly, uncoordinated klutz. He was told that he could improve his dancing by watching himself in the mirror. He tried. What he saw was so repulsive that he resolved never to inflict himself on a dance partner.\tThese days, Saul hid those memories behind weight lifting and jogging. His new athletic physique hid his aimless decade as an outsider, an odd and lonely kid--as he remembered it.","author":"Michael Benzehabe","tags":["benzehabe","dance-partner","dancing","lonely","outsider","puberty","sad","unassimilated","weight-lifting"],"id":61937,"author_id":"Michael+Benzehabe"},{"text":"All the way, Zoe kept her chin up and pretended she wasn’t mortified, but his sour expression stayed with her. She wasn’t good at making American friends. She changed her language, conduct, and clothing, but it didn’t seem to matter. Whether she wore modest Middle-Eastern clothing or cute Western fashions, everyone knew she didn’t belong.","author":"Michael Benzehabe","tags":["america","benzehabe","immigrant","loner","mortified","outsider","pretend","shame","spy","unassimilated","western-fashion","zoe"],"id":108365,"author_id":"Michael+Benzehabe"},{"text":"Li, a willowy manboy with a shock of black hair atop a mouthful of bad teeth was the brother-in-law he had introduced to industrial espionage several years back. Rong often regretted that.","author":"Michael Benzehabe","tags":["ben-zehabe","benzehabe","china","cyber-security","espionage","regret","spy","unassimilated"],"id":120658,"author_id":"Michael+Benzehabe"},{"text":"Zoe leaned closer to Ruth, nearly nose to nose. “If they were made from better stuff, they would have pretended the fault was theirs. They would have made a moment of it--a pretty moment.","author":"Michael Benzehabe","tags":["benzehabe","consideration","good-manners","immigrant","immigration","kindness","social-graces","unassimilated"],"id":121041,"author_id":"Michael+Benzehabe"},{"text":"Pleading for forgiveness was always on the tip of her tongue. She had tried doing a good thing, but because of one thoughtless act, his two beautiful daughters were brutally raped, and running to the other side of the world hadn’t helped. Because of her, two innocent ADP employees were dead. She was older but not a shekel wiser, still opening the wrong doors.","author":"Michael Benzehabe","tags":["benzehabe","cyber","mistakes","rape","regrets","shekel","sisters","spy","unassimilated","wrong-doors","zoe"],"id":131068,"author_id":"Michael+Benzehabe"},{"text":"Saul stared at his Whisky Sour. He hadn’t heard from Zoe in about a week. Maybe she had lost interest.\tAll at once, the room was filled with people laughing, talking about how wonderful it was to be a couple. He was mildly amused at how disconcerting being alone felt. He had met Zoe about a month ago, when he helped her cross a busy boulevard. Yet, it seemed like he had known her for years.\tHe stepped outside to call and leave another message.","author":"Michael Benzehabe","tags":["alienation","alone","benzehabe","lost-interest","rejection","single","unassimilated","unreturned-calls","whisky-sour","zoe"],"id":179028,"author_id":"Michael+Benzehabe"},{"text":"The dean put a finger to his chin as he studied this great and troubling mystery. The applicant’s response reeked of insincerity, like, “Have a nice day!” with all the friendly burned off. “Okay, Mr. Darlington. I’ll just be a minute.","author":"Michael Benzehabe","tags":["benzehabe","claremont","frank-darlington","friendly","insincerity","interview","mystery","unassimilated"],"id":211864,"author_id":"Michael+Benzehabe"},{"text":"Zoe did what civilized people do when they freak out: she drank tea. She had walked from her little bungalow to Coffee \u0026 Tea. It was always filled with the well-educated, the complicated, the people who read books with captivating titles. A perfect place to ignore and be ignored. She found the anonymity delicious.","author":"Michael Benzehabe","tags":["anonymity","ben-zehabe","benzehabe","cyber","reading","solitude","spy","tea","unassimilated"],"id":227067,"author_id":"Michael+Benzehabe"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":17,"pages":2,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}