Time flies like an arrow - but fruit flies like a banana.

— Terry Wogan

You can't teach calculus to a chimpanzee. So just share your banana.

— John Rachel

A gorilla does not budge from a banana thrown at it by a monkey.

— Suzy Kassem

Obama might think of himself as one, but he is not a dictator. We are not a banana republic yet. This is not an authoritarian form of government. This is a constitutional republic, and the president doesn't allow or disallow. The president can't buy or purchase.

— Rush Limbaugh

A lion does not flinch at laughter coming from a hyena. A gorilla does not budge from a banana thrown at it by a monkey. A nightingale does not stop singing its beautiful song at the intrusion of an annoying woodpecker.

— Suzy Kassem

Things are just things, they can't bring back the dead.It just makes me feel better. - Hiiragi.

— Yoshimoto Banana

As great as Ed is, the wisdom out here is that he can't carry a movie. They'll pay him $3 million to be the second banana in Julia Roberts things. But they won't put up $3 million for an Ed Harris movie.

— George A. Romero

In between bites of banana, Mr. Remora would tell stories, and the children would write the stories down in notebooks, and every so often there would be a test. The stories were very short, and there were a whole lot of them on every conceivable subject. 'One day I went to the store to purchase a carton of milk,' Mr. Remora would say, chewing on a banana. 'When I got home, I poured the milk into a glass and drank it. Then I watched television. The end.' Or: 'One afternoon a man named Edward got into a green truck and drove to a farm. The farm had geese and cows. The end.' Mr. Ramora would tell story after story, and eat banana after banana, and it would get more and more difficult for Violet to pay attention.

— Lemony Snicket

Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it's funny.

— Shah Rukh Khan

Robert Oppenheimer used to tell of the pioneer mysteries of building reliable Geiger counters that had low background noise. Among his friends, he said, there were two schools of thought. One school firmly held that the final step before one sealed off the Geiger tube was to peel a banana and wave the skin three times, sharply to the left.The other school was equally confident that success would follow if one waved the banana peel twice to the left and then, once, smartly to the right. (My counters were unbelievably bad because I didn't use either of these techniques.).

— Luis W. Alvarez