{"quotes":[{"text":"Top lines to a human being who tends to isolate (an avoidant) would mean they make an effort to talk to another human being when the opportunity arises. A top line can also mean that, whether we feel like it or not, we are committed to our recovery and to improving our emotional and professional life. The idea of ‘top lines’ is not to be hard on ourselves or to put us in a position where we feel unsafe or burnt out. It’s a way to avoid missing opportunities to learn, serve and grow.","author":"Christopher Dines","tags":["addiction","addiction-and-recovery","addictive-behaviour","addictiveness","top-lines","twelve-step-fellowships"],"id":26768,"author_id":"Christopher+Dines"},{"text":"Love addicts often pick partners who are emotionally unavailable because deep down, they don’t feel worthy of having a healthy, loving relationship. A love addict craves and obsesses about becoming enmeshed or ‘one’ with another human being at all costs, even if it means putting themselves in potential danger.","author":"Christopher Dines","tags":["addiction","addiction-and-recovery","addictive-behaviour","addictiveness","love-addiction","love-addicts"],"id":29927,"author_id":"Christopher+Dines"},{"text":"I don’t think I’ve ever met an addict in long-term recovery who hasn’t gone through at least one traumatic childhood experience. Research indicates that one traumatic event in childhood is as grave as continuous combat in a war zone. A traumatic event during childhood can leave a grave imprint on the human body.","author":"Christopher Dines","tags":["addiction","addiction-and-recovery","addictive-behaviour","addictiveness"],"id":43146,"author_id":"Christopher+Dines"},{"text":"When we seek to escape from inner conflict and pain, we are running away from unresolved childhood trauma or original pain. Most people with serious addictive natures who are in the process of recovery have found that trauma played a huge role in escalating their addictions. It certainly did for me.","author":"Christopher Dines","tags":["addiction","addiction-and-recovery","addictive-behaviour","addictiveness"],"id":54915,"author_id":"Christopher+Dines"},{"text":"When we practise self-compassion, we look after ourselves just as though we are nurturing a small child. In fact, a major part of grieving our original pain work (so that we can heal and be emotionally liberated) is to re-parent ourselves and reconnect with our inner child. This is what the author, John Bradshaw, meant by ‘reclaiming our inner child’. In recovery, we can begin to nurture our inner child and connect deeply with our heart and spirit.","author":"Christopher Dines","tags":["addiction","addiction-and-recovery","addictive-behaviour","addictiveness","heart","inner-child","john-bradshaw","original-pain-work","spirit"],"id":70271,"author_id":"Christopher+Dines"},{"text":"Isms’ are described as transference of addictive patterns of dysfunctional behaviour, passed down from generation to generation. For instance, if a mother was an alcoholic who never made it into recovery, her behaviour would leave a mark on her children, husband, etc. Unless her adult children join some sort of recovery programme and adopt the mindfulness practice, they will have very similar behaviour traits to their mother but minus the alcohol abuse. There is a strong possibility that they will become codependent and form relationships with other codependents or alcoholics.","author":"Christopher Dines","tags":["addiction","addiction-and-recovery","addictive-behaviour","addictiveness","alcoholism","codependency","family-dysfunction","generational-pain"],"id":94225,"author_id":"Christopher+Dines"},{"text":"Let’s remind ourselves that to be compassionate and forgiving doesn’t mean we are endorsing dysfunctional behaviour. On the contrary, it’s essential the harm that was inflicted upon us is properly validated and grieved. Forgiveness isn’t an intellectual concept or an airy-fairy idea. It’s a painstaking process. To be compassionate and to forgive mean we are gradually letting go of poisonous, toxic feelings that are trapped in our minds and bodies.","author":"Christopher Dines","tags":["addiction","addiction-and-recovery","addictive-behaviour","addictiveness","forgiveness","forgiveness-and-letting-go"],"id":94322,"author_id":"Christopher+Dines"},{"text":"The Karpman drama triangle is a classic model of codependent behaviour. First of all, a codependent will rescue someone. Then, when their ‘brave and charitable’ work hasn’t been acknowledged, they become very angry at the person they have attempted to rescue. And finally, they start to feel like a victim. They feel sorry for themselves and complain how the person they rescued never appreciated them. The important thing to learn here is that if a person wants to change, it’s because they have made a decision to do so.","author":"Christopher Dines","tags":["addiction","addiction-and-recovery","addictive-behaviour","addictiveness","codependence","drama-triangle","the-karpman-drama-triangle"],"id":105346,"author_id":"Christopher+Dines"},{"text":"Body scan meditation is mentally scanning through each part of the body with presence. It helps us be one with the body. Thus, we can feel if we are holding on to any tension or heaviness or any static emotions. And by doing so, we can find relief and internal freedom.","author":"Christopher Dines","tags":["addiction","addiction-and-recovery","addictive-behaviour","addictiveness","body-scan-meditation","mindfulness"],"id":106070,"author_id":"Christopher+Dines"},{"text":"It’s important to be aware that many families are dysfunctional, but we can change the patterns. Even if a child grew up in an aggressive or addictive household, they can heal and move past that with immense emotional resilience, wisdom and gratitude. This is what recovery can offer anyone who, like you, is open-minded, willing and ready to explore self-awareness and take action.","author":"Christopher Dines","tags":["addiction","addiction-and-recovery","addictive-behaviour","addictiveness"],"id":121710,"author_id":"Christopher+Dines"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":25,"pages":3,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}