{"author":"S.J. Watson","author_id":"S.J.+Watson","total_quotes":19,"quotes":[{"text":"I step back further, until I feel cold tiles against my back. It is then I get the glimmer that I associate with memory. As my mind tries to settle on it, it flutters away, like ashes caught in a breeze, and I realize that in my life there is a then, a before, though before what I cannot say, and there is a now, and there is nothing between the two but a long, silent emptiness that has led me here, to me and him, in this house.","author":"S.J. Watson","tags":["christine","emptiness","memory","mind"],"id":11479,"author_id":"S.J.+Watson"},{"text":"Thoughts race, as if, in a mind devoid of memory, each idea has too much space to grow and move, to collide with others in a shower of sparks before spinning off into its own distance.","author":"S.J. Watson","tags":["ideas","memory","thoughts"],"id":48397,"author_id":"S.J.+Watson"},{"text":"I am floating, I thought, completely without anchor, at the mercy of the wind.","author":"S.J. Watson","tags":["floating","mercy","sadness","wind"],"id":55754,"author_id":"S.J.+Watson"},{"text":"With him everything is a test, affection is measured, that given weighed against that which has been received, and the balance, more often than not, disappointing him.","author":"S.J. Watson","tags":["relationships"],"id":82660,"author_id":"S.J.+Watson"},{"text":"I looked over at him, running in the distance. Another faulty, fucked-up brain in a healthy body.","author":"S.J. Watson","tags":["body","brain","faulty","fucked-up","healthy"],"id":91041,"author_id":"S.J.+Watson"},{"text":"I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd fought for you. I was weak and stupid.","author":"S.J. Watson","tags":["love","relationships"],"id":100028,"author_id":"S.J.+Watson"},{"text":"There were never going to be any happy ending for me. I know that now. But that is all right. That is all right.","author":"S.J. Watson","tags":["all-right","before-i-go-to-sleep","beginnings","endings","happy-endings","life","living","s-j-watson"],"id":131949,"author_id":"S.J.+Watson"},{"text":"And then, when there is nothing else between us but love, we can begin to find a way to truly be together.","author":"S.J. Watson","tags":["forgiveness","love"],"id":149278,"author_id":"S.J.+Watson"},{"text":"I could see it all. The hand on the shoulder, then the hug. The mouths that find each other through the tears, the moment when guilt and the certainty that things must go no further gives way to lust and the certainty that they cannot stop.","author":"S.J. Watson","tags":["before-i-go-to-sleep","certainty","guilty","lust","s-j-watson","wrong"],"id":177659,"author_id":"S.J.+Watson"},{"text":"I closed my eyes and abandoned myself to my grief. It felt better, somehow, to be helpless. I didn't feel ashamed.","author":"S.J. Watson","tags":["grief","helplessness","shame"],"id":196354,"author_id":"S.J.+Watson"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":19,"pages":2,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}