{"author":"Rita Rudner","author_id":"Rita+Rudner","total_quotes":61,"quotes":[{"text":"I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.","author":"Rita Rudner","tags":["humor"],"id":501,"author_id":"Rita+Rudner"},{"text":"Men who drink herbal teas are seldom serial killers.","author":"Rita Rudner","tags":["men","women"],"id":7954,"author_id":"Rita+Rudner"},{"text":"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.","author":"Rita Rudner","tags":["children","friends","good "],"id":16722,"author_id":"Rita+Rudner"},{"text":"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.","author":"Rita Rudner","tags":["marriage"],"id":33968,"author_id":"Rita+Rudner"},{"text":"Stand-up is my favorite thing I've ever done. There's so much independence.","author":"Rita Rudner","tags":["favorite","done","ever "],"id":48667,"author_id":"Rita+Rudner"},{"text":"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.","author":"Rita Rudner","tags":["humor","money"],"id":51993,"author_id":"Rita+Rudner"},{"text":"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.","author":"Rita Rudner","tags":["want","him","married "],"id":59572,"author_id":"Rita+Rudner"},{"text":"Men like cars  women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.","author":"Rita Rudner","tags":["humorous"],"id":59910,"author_id":"Rita+Rudner"},{"text":"Men forget everything women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened. ","author":"Rita Rudner","tags":["explains-a-lot","funny"],"id":66754,"author_id":"Rita+Rudner"},{"text":"We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.","author":"Rita Rudner","tags":["dog","feet","long "],"id":67529,"author_id":"Rita+Rudner"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":61,"pages":7,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}