{"author":"Richard Kadrey","author_id":"Richard+Kadrey","total_quotes":27,"quotes":[{"text":"Hell didn't make me a monster. It just confirmed all my worst fears about myself.","author":"Richard Kadrey","tags":["hell","human-nature","insight"],"id":1863,"author_id":"Richard+Kadrey"},{"text":"The dead think they can get away with anything because you'll feel sorry for them. If you play cards with the dead, make sure you deal and don't let them buy you drinks. They'll slip you a formaldehyde roofie and pry the gold fillings out of your teeth.","author":"Richard Kadrey","tags":["cards","dead"],"id":9190,"author_id":"Richard+Kadrey"},{"text":"When the world began, there were no such things as monsters. Demons were just fallen angels who, booted out of Heaven and bored with Hell, wandered the Earth sticking little girls’ pigtails in inkwells and sinking the occasional continent.","author":"Richard Kadrey","tags":["demons","funny"],"id":50997,"author_id":"Richard+Kadrey"},{"text":"If fucking up is power, I should be the Hulk by now.","author":"Richard Kadrey","tags":["funny","power"],"id":64081,"author_id":"Richard+Kadrey"},{"text":"Fuck you, angel. Fuck you and all God's little prison bitches. He slips you some cigarettes and a con job smile and you run off to do his dirty work for him. Go and scare some sinners. No one's listening to you here.","author":"Richard Kadrey","tags":["angels","god","prison"],"id":97963,"author_id":"Richard+Kadrey"},{"text":"Don't talk. Kill it.'That might be the sweetest thing a woman's ever said to me on a first date.","author":"Richard Kadrey","tags":["dating","killing"],"id":112132,"author_id":"Richard+Kadrey"},{"text":"They can talk shit about each other behind the others' backs, but when it comes down to it, money is the one true race and everyone down here is the color of greenbacks and as tall as mountains.","author":"Richard Kadrey","tags":["cynical","greed","money","pride","relationships","society"],"id":122478,"author_id":"Richard+Kadrey"},{"text":"*For eleven years, I've been worked over and abused in ways you can't imagine by things you don't want to know about. I've killed every kind of vile, black-souled, dead-eyed nightmare that ever made you piss your pjs and cry for mommy in the middle of the night. I kill monsters and, if I wanted, I could say a word and burn you to powder from the inside out. I can tear any human you ever met to rages with my bare hands. Give me one good reason why I could possibly need you?*She looks straight at me, not blinking. No fear in her eyes.*Because you might be the Tasmanian Devil and the Angel of Death all rolled into one, but you don't even know how to get a phone.*I hate to admit it, but she has a point.","author":"Richard Kadrey","tags":["hell","monsters","phones"],"id":134984,"author_id":"Richard+Kadrey"},{"text":"Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.","author":"Richard Kadrey","tags":["bullets","memories","metaphor","pain"],"id":150397,"author_id":"Richard+Kadrey"},{"text":"This is where you first failed us. You gave us minds and told us not to think. You gave us curiosity and put a booby-trapped tree right in front of us. You gave us sex and told us not to do it. You played three-card monte with our souls from day one, and when we couldn't find the queen, you sent us to Hell to be tortured for eternity. That was your great plan for humanity? All you gave us here was daisies and fairy tales and you acted like that was enough. How were we supposed to resist evil when you didn't even tell us about it?","author":"Richard Kadrey","tags":["damnation","devil","evil","free-will","garden-of-eden","god","good","lucifer","religion"],"id":158657,"author_id":"Richard+Kadrey"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":27,"pages":3,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}