{"author":"Oliver Markus","author_id":"Oliver+Markus","total_quotes":15,"quotes":[{"text":"Calling a book 'Young Adult' is just a fancy way of saying the book is censored.","author":"Oliver Markus","tags":["banned-books","books","censored","censored-books","censorship","corporate-america","forbidden-books","ya","young-adult"],"id":8282,"author_id":"Oliver+Markus"},{"text":"It's like playing the lottery. It doesn't matter how extremely low the chances are of winning. You gotta be in it to win it. Hitting on every girl in sight is like buying a whole lot of lottery tickets. You never know, one day one of them might actually pay off.","author":"Oliver Markus","tags":["dating","flirting","funny","funny-but-true","funny","lottery","lottery-tickets","relationships"],"id":19512,"author_id":"Oliver+Markus"},{"text":"Calling a book 'Young Adult' is just a fancy way of saying the book is censored. People used to say they like to read books about romance, true crime, comedy, horror or science fiction. But these days people simply say they like to read 'Young Adult' books. As if that were a topic. But that's the thing: Young Adult is not a topic, it's a level of censorship. Saying 'I like Young Adult books' is just another way of saying 'I like books that have been dumbed down for children. I like books with no big words and no difficult abstract concepts. Nothing that will strain my brain.' People like to brag that they used to start reading at an early age, as if that were a badge of honor, a sign of intelligence. Nobody brags about when they started to watch TV. But books are being dumbed down so much these days, it's really not a sign of great intelligence when you're a grown up and you struggle your way through Green Eggs and Ham.","author":"Oliver Markus","tags":["abstract-thinking","book","books","censoring","censorship","comedy","critical-thinking","green-eggs-and-ham","horror","intelligence","science-fiction","ya","young-adult","young-adult-fiction","young-adult-literature"],"id":23763,"author_id":"Oliver+Markus"},{"text":"We want to look desirable. We want others to want to mate with us. No different than a colorful peacock. When girls dress up for their night out at the club, they are doing what all animals do when they try to make themselves desirable for a potential mate. That's the whole point behind the fashion, perfume, cosmetics, diet, and plastic surgery industries.","author":"Oliver Markus","tags":["beauty","beauty-standards","clubbing","cosmetic-surgery","cosmetics","diet","diet-industry","dieting","dieting-humor","fashion","fashion-industry","fashion","girls","girls-night","mating","mating-ritual","men-and-women","perfume","perfume","plastic-surgery","women","women-and-men"],"id":109563,"author_id":"Oliver+Markus"},{"text":"God is Santa Claus for Grown-Ups.","author":"Oliver Markus","tags":["atheism","atheists","christmas","funny","god","growing-up","humor","new-atheism","new-atheists","obvious-truth","religion","santa-claus","sense-of-wonder"],"id":119757,"author_id":"Oliver+Markus"},{"text":"The secret to good writing is to use small words for big ideas, not to use big words for small ideas.","author":"Oliver Markus","tags":["advice-for-writers","advice","brevity","honesty","secrets","simplicity","simplifying","writers","writers-and-writing","writers-on-thinking","writers-on-writing","writing","writing-advice","writing-craft","writing-philosophy","writing-tips"],"id":123199,"author_id":"Oliver+Markus"},{"text":"Envy is the desire to have what someone else has. Jealousy is the fear of losing what you have. The more insecure you are about yourself or your relationship, the more jealous you are, because you are afraid to lose your significant other to someone else.","author":"Oliver Markus","tags":["abandonment","abandonment-issues","cheating","envy","envy","fear-of-abandonment","insecure","insecure-men","insecure-people","insecure-women","jealous","jealous-husband","jealous-people","jealous-women","jealousy","jealousy","relationship","relationship-advice","relationship-problems","relationship","relationships"],"id":192551,"author_id":"Oliver+Markus"},{"text":"Self-publishing a shitty book doesn't make you an author any more than singing in the shower makes you a rockstar or squeezing your pimple makes you a dermatologist.","author":"Oliver Markus","tags":["acne","amateurs","-on-books","bad-reviews","books","conceit","conceitedness","dermatology","funny","funny","humor","humorous","music","pimples","reading","rockstars","self-publishing","writing"],"id":199931,"author_id":"Oliver+Markus"},{"text":"The red lipstick? It's supposed to signal fertility and readiness to mate. Just like the swollen red butt of a baboon. That tight-fitting little dress that shows off your curves? From the standpoint of evolutionary biology, big breasts represent a healthy mate who can feed a lot of offspring. That's why men are programmed to like big tits. When you show off your curves, what you're really doing is advertising to the whole world: 'Look at me! I'm a healthy female! I'd be a perfect mate! Come mount me!","author":"Oliver Markus","tags":["baboon","baboons","big-breasts-and-wide-hips","breast-implants","breasts","breasts-enhancement","butt","butts","curves","curvy","curvy-woman","dress","dresses","dressing-up","evolution","evolution-humor","evolutionary-biology","evolutionary-psychology","fertility","lipstick","mating-call","mating-ritual","mating-rituals","offspring","tits"],"id":253889,"author_id":"Oliver+Markus"},{"text":"Take the Holocaust for example: Why did God allow Hitler to kill millions of innocent Jews? Because God didn't want to step on Hitler's toes and interfere with his free will? That's a pretty lame excuse. What about the free will of all those Jews who died? I'm pretty sure that getting gassed to death was obviously not their choice. So, was the Holocaust part of God's great plan? Is that why he allowed it to happen? Is that why God didn't answer the prayers of all those Jews who begged him to make Hitler drop dead? Why didn't God just make Hitler have a heart attack before he could start World War 2? Why didn't he simply prevent Hitler from being born? How could a God who is supposed to be all good all the time allow something like the Holocaust?Or did God not just LET it happen? Maybe God MADE the Holocaust happen, because everything that happens, happens for a good reason? Are our minds simply too tiny, too inferior, to understand God's divine plan? Are we just too stupid to see the greater good that came out of the Holocaust?If that were true, and everything that happens, including the Holocaust, is part of God's perfect plan, then that means that Hitler really wasn't a bad man at all. He was actually doing God's work. And if Hitler did exactly what he was supposed to do in God's great plan, then Hitler obviously didn't have free will, but was just God's puppet. So that means Hitler was a good guy. A man of God.Sorry, but there is no religion in the world that could sell me on believing THAT bullshit.","author":"Oliver Markus","tags":["atheism","atheist","bullshit","free-will","god","hitler","holocaust","religion"],"id":359419,"author_id":"Oliver+Markus"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":15,"pages":2,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}