{"author":"Ned Vizzini","author_id":"Ned+Vizzini","total_quotes":40,"quotes":[{"text":"I waste at least an hour every day lying in bed. Then I waste time pacing. I waste time thinking. I waste time being quiet and not saying anything because I'm afraid I'll stutter.","author":"Ned Vizzini","tags":["depression","sadness","suicide"],"id":5500,"author_id":"Ned+Vizzini"},{"text":"I'm fine. Well, I'm not fine - I'm here.'Is there something wrong with that?'Absolutely.","author":"Ned Vizzini","tags":["depression","sadness","suicide","therapy"],"id":21255,"author_id":"Ned+Vizzini"},{"text":"You want to play video games twenty-four hours a day?'Or watch. I just want to not be me. Whether it's sleeping or playing video games or riding my bike or studying. Giving my brain up. That's what's important.","author":"Ned Vizzini","tags":["depression"],"id":22609,"author_id":"Ned+Vizzini"},{"text":"What happened when you woke up?' 'I was having a dream. I don’t know what it was, but when I woke up, I had this awful realization that I was awake. It hit me like a brick in the groin.' 'Like a brick in the groin, I see.'I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.' 'And what is that nightmare, Craig?'Life.' 'Life is a nightmare.'Yes.","author":"Ned Vizzini","tags":["depression"],"id":58674,"author_id":"Ned+Vizzini"},{"text":"And I could have died right then. And considering how things went, I really should have.","author":"Ned Vizzini","tags":["death"],"id":58758,"author_id":"Ned+Vizzini"},{"text":"It's not a mental complaint-it's a physical thing, like it's physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out. ... You stumble on them as they gather behind your lower lip. So you just keep quiet.","author":"Ned Vizzini","tags":["depression"],"id":62951,"author_id":"Ned+Vizzini"},{"text":"Like I'm on the verge of just blowing up. All the stress and pressure and anxiety just bubbling up.","author":"Ned Vizzini","tags":["anxiety","stress"],"id":65879,"author_id":"Ned+Vizzini"},{"text":"I'm waiting for her to say 'Craig, what you need to do is X' and for the Shift to occur. I want there to be a Shift so bad. I want to feel my brain slide back into the slot it was meant to be in, rest there the way it did before the fall of last year, back when I was young, and witty, and my teachers said I had incredible promise, and I had incredible promise, and I spoke up in class because I was excited and smart about the world. I want the Shift so bad. I'm waiting for the phrase that will invoke it. It'll be like a miracle within my life. But is Dr. Minerva a miracle worker? No. She's a thin, tan lady from Greece with red lipstick.","author":"Ned Vizzini","tags":["depression"],"id":78849,"author_id":"Ned+Vizzini"},{"text":"That's worst than gonerreha, man!","author":"Ned Vizzini","tags":["funny"],"id":91983,"author_id":"Ned+Vizzini"},{"text":"Dreams are only dreams until you wake up and make them real.","author":"Ned Vizzini","tags":["inspiration"],"id":95195,"author_id":"Ned+Vizzini"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":40,"pages":4,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}