{"author":"Lish McBride","author_id":"Lish+McBride","total_quotes":15,"quotes":[{"text":"Mrs. Winalski owned a candy-apple-red 1965 Mustang GT convertible, and she drove it like she could die at any minute and needed to get five things done before that happened.","author":"Lish McBride","tags":["car","die","funny"],"id":4229,"author_id":"Lish+McBride"},{"text":"Aves hasn’t mentioned a boyfriend,” Lock chimed in, “and we’re just dying to hear all about you.” Liar. My friends were filthy lying sadists.","author":"Lish McBride","tags":["dating","humor"],"id":13056,"author_id":"Lish+McBride"},{"text":"There were upsides to the whole mess. While Douglas was holding me hostage, I’d met a girl—I mean, screw dating websites and house parties; apparently all the really eligible ladies are being held in cages these days. I would have liked to see Brid fill out a dating questionnaire, though. What would she put? “Hi, my name is Bridin Blackthorn. I’m next in line to rule the local werewolf pack. I like long walks on the beach and destroying my enemies. I have four older brothers, so watch your step. We’ll be forming a queue to the left for potential suitors.”And, trust me, there would be a queue.","author":"Lish McBride","tags":["dating","dating-service","humor"],"id":38611,"author_id":"Lish+McBride"},{"text":"Douglas’s fridge was a stainless-steel masterpiece. I’m not that into appliances or anything, but this one was nice and probably cost more than my last apartment. I had the strange desire to hug it every time I came into the kitchen.","author":"Lish McBride","tags":["appliances","humor","lust"],"id":87864,"author_id":"Lish+McBride"},{"text":"She whistled when she noticed my back. I assume because of my injuries. I mean, my ass just isn't that spectacular.","author":"Lish McBride","tags":["funny","sam"],"id":91846,"author_id":"Lish+McBride"},{"text":"Don’t you think it’s a bad sign that your best argument for your beau is that nothing has been proved in court?","author":"Lish McBride","tags":["dating","dating-advice"],"id":94290,"author_id":"Lish+McBride"},{"text":"And someone, somewhere, was having an even worse time of it than me. I tried to keep that in mind. No matter how crappy your life, someone will probably beat you in the my-life-is-crap category. Not that I don't let myself whine a little now and then, but sometimes it's good to keep your misery in perspective.","author":"Lish McBride","tags":["humor","life","wisdom"],"id":114656,"author_id":"Lish+McBride"},{"text":"Pity. What a useless emotion when you don't act on it. Pity is supposed to trigger compassion.","author":"Lish McBride","tags":["compassion","pity"],"id":136726,"author_id":"Lish+McBride"},{"text":"Fear, left unchecked, can spread like a virus.","author":"Lish McBride","tags":["fear","viruses"],"id":214879,"author_id":"Lish+McBride"},{"text":"Ramon looked closely at the little guy as he ate. 'Maybe he's Jewish. I mean, if Sammy Davis Jr. Could convert to Judaism, why not a chupacabra? We should name him Harry Mendelbaum.'I held up my arms in protest. 'You're all racist. Now shut up. We'll call him Taco von Precious of Svenenstein. There, everybody h.","author":"Lish McBride","tags":["humor","paranormal-fiction","young-adult"],"id":261141,"author_id":"Lish+McBride"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":15,"pages":2,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}