{"author":"Julie Buxbaum","author_id":"Julie+Buxbaum","total_quotes":20,"quotes":[{"text":"I also have a list of favorite noises. It has one item on it: Kit's laugh.","author":"Julie Buxbaum","tags":["autism","high-school","romance"],"id":7303,"author_id":"Julie+Buxbaum"},{"text":"So strange that David Drucker of all people was the only one who said the exact right thing: Your dad shouldn't have died. That's really unfair.","author":"Julie Buxbaum","tags":["autism","friendship","grief","high-school"],"id":8803,"author_id":"Julie+Buxbaum"},{"text":"I think that's what people do with the holidays. They wrap it up all neatly with a turkey and clever gifts and lots of eggnog and laugh and laugh, but at the end of the day there are always people missing from the table. And you have to either sit with those empty chairs and laugh, or you can choose not to come to the table at all. I would rather come to the table.","author":"Julie Buxbaum","tags":["change","grief","holidays","nostalgia"],"id":30074,"author_id":"Julie+Buxbaum"},{"text":"Right. So what don't get is why everyone is mad at me, instead of realising that I am the one who has been wronged here. Not a single person has come up to me and said,'I'm really sorry this happened to you.' Not one person.","author":"Julie Buxbaum","tags":["humanity","what-to-say-next"],"id":62674,"author_id":"Julie+Buxbaum"},{"text":"I mean , I never even had to really come out to my parents. They always knew, and it was always okay. Or not even okay, better than that. Not something that had to be evaluated at all. It just was. Like having brown hair.","author":"Julie Buxbaum","tags":["coming-out","lgbt","love"],"id":91872,"author_id":"Julie+Buxbaum"},{"text":"I realize we all walk around pretending we have some control over our fate, because to recognize the truth--that no matter what we do, the bottom will fall out when we least expect it--is just too unbearable to live with.","author":"Julie Buxbaum","tags":["fate"],"id":110352,"author_id":"Julie+Buxbaum"},{"text":"I am kissing David Drucker. I am kissing David Drucker. I am kissing David Drucker. I Was wrong. I had assumed this would be his first kiss, that it would be fumbling and a bit messy but still fun. No way. Can’t be. This guy knows exactly what he’s doing. How to cradle the back of my head with his hands. How to move in soft and slow, and then pick up the pace, and then slow down again. How to brush my cheeks with even smaller kisses, how to work his way down my jaw, and to soften the worry spot in the center of my brow. How to pause and look into my eyes, really look, so tenderly I feel it all the way down in my stomach. He even traces the small zigzag scar on my eyebrow with his fingertips, like it’s something beautiful. I could kiss him forever. I’m going to kiss him forever.","author":"Julie Buxbaum","tags":["autism","high-school","loss","romance"],"id":141981,"author_id":"Julie+Buxbaum"},{"text":"I try to think of other things. David’s hand in mine. That was nice. Innocent, friendly hand-holding. I think of his tape measure. And his haircut. I think about what it might be like to kiss him. Not that I really think of him that way-like a boyfriend or even just some hookup-but still I imagine kissing him would feel good. A true thing. A real thing. I imagine he tastes like honesty.","author":"Julie Buxbaum","tags":["autism","high-school","loss","romance"],"id":184609,"author_id":"Julie+Buxbaum"},{"text":"Tears are kind of like urine. There's only so long you can hold them in.","author":"Julie Buxbaum","tags":["humorous"],"id":205467,"author_id":"Julie+Buxbaum"},{"text":"There’s nothing lonelier than a hand on glass. Maybe because it’s so rarely reciprocated.","author":"Julie Buxbaum","tags":["life","loneliness"],"id":230473,"author_id":"Julie+Buxbaum"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":20,"pages":2,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}