{"author":"Joseph Heller","author_id":"Joseph+Heller","total_quotes":62,"quotes":[{"text":"I don't want to make sacrifices. I want to make dough.","author":"Joseph Heller","tags":["humorous"],"id":1330,"author_id":"Joseph+Heller"},{"text":"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.","author":"Joseph Heller","tags":["humor"],"id":5189,"author_id":"Joseph+Heller"},{"text":"The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.","author":"Joseph Heller","tags":["survival","war"],"id":24088,"author_id":"Joseph+Heller"},{"text":"Politically, he was a humanitarian who did know right from left and was trapped uncomfortably between the two. He was constantly defending his Communist friends to his right-wing enemies and his right-wing friends to his Communist enemies, and he was thoroughly detested by both groups, who never defended him to anyone because they thought he was a dope.","author":"Joseph Heller","tags":["communism","humanitarianism"],"id":26663,"author_id":"Joseph+Heller"},{"text":"Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.","author":"Joseph Heller","tags":["survival"],"id":27841,"author_id":"Joseph+Heller"},{"text":"Major Major never sees anyone in his office while he's in his office.","author":"Joseph Heller","tags":["humor","war"],"id":41883,"author_id":"Joseph+Heller"},{"text":"Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs  divorce  fornication  bullying  travel  meditation  medication  depression  neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.","author":"Joseph Heller","tags":["success"],"id":56529,"author_id":"Joseph+Heller"},{"text":"Who's they?' He wanted to know. 'Who, specifically, do you think is trying to murder you?'Every one of them,' Yossarian told him.'Every one of whom?'Every one of whom do you think?'I haven't any idea.'Then how do you know they aren't?'Because...' Clevinger sputtered, and turned speechless with frustration. \tClevinger really thought he was right, but Yossarian had proof, because strangers he didn't know shot at him with cannons every time he flew up into the air to drop bombs on them, and it wasn't funny at all.","author":"Joseph Heller","tags":["bombs","murder","paranoia"],"id":62048,"author_id":"Joseph+Heller"},{"text":"That goddam stunted, red-faced, big-cheeked, apple-cheeked, curlyheaded, midget assed, , google-eyed, undersized, grinning, buck-toothed rat!!' Yossarian sputtered.~ Catch-22.","author":"Joseph Heller","tags":["anger"],"id":87825,"author_id":"Joseph+Heller"},{"text":"Colonel Cathcart is our commanding officer and we must obey him. Why don't you fly four more missions and see what happens?'I don't want to.'Suppose we let you pick your missions and fly milk runs?' Major Major said. 'That way you can fly the four missions and not run any risks.'I don't want to fly milk runs. I don't want to be in the war anymore.'Would you like to see our country lose?' Major Major asked.'We won't lose. We've got more men, more money, and more material. There are ten million men in uniform who could replace me. Some people are getting killed and a lot more are making money and having fun. Let somebody else get killed.'But suppose everybody on our side felt that way?'Then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way. Wouldn't I?","author":"Joseph Heller","tags":["humour"],"id":93598,"author_id":"Joseph+Heller"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":62,"pages":7,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}