{"author":"John Zakour","author_id":"John+Zakour","total_quotes":23,"quotes":[{"text":"I focused the power from my armor into my leg and kicked the door in. The metal and plastic fibers splintered and the hinges ripped free from the wall.“By the way, boss,” HARV said. “I believe that the door was unlocked.","author":"John Zakour","tags":["humor","sci-fi","sci-fi-humour-comedy"],"id":6872,"author_id":"John+Zakour"},{"text":"Walking into Nova Hollywood, I remembered why I didn’t come here more often. I like a good slice of cheese as much as the next guy, but this place would be too cheesy for a giant mutant rat who had been starving for a week.","author":"John Zakour","tags":["comedy","fantasy","humor","sci-fi"],"id":45171,"author_id":"John+Zakour"},{"text":"I told you it was easy,” HARV said.“True, but you say that about everything.”“That's because everything is easy for me.”“Everything but humility.”“No, that's easy, too. I just choose not to practice it.","author":"John Zakour","tags":["humor","sci-fi","sci-fi-humour-comedy"],"id":73903,"author_id":"John+Zakour"},{"text":"HARV, can you help at all here?” I asked, spinning downward.“I am writing your obituary. Well, not so much writing it as updating it,” HARV told me.If I lived, I was going to kill HARV.","author":"John Zakour","tags":["comedy","fantasy","humor","sci-fi"],"id":97913,"author_id":"John+Zakour"},{"text":"W turned on his heel and began walking toward the door at the far wall. And by walking I mean, of course, not moving at all, at least not to the naked eye, because his strides could only be measured in micrometers. His creaky legs made barely the tiniest of forward steps, so he’d taken four strides before I noticed any lateral movement at all.“I'll be right back.”“Geologically speaking, of course,” HARV said.","author":"John Zakour","tags":["humor","sci-fi","sci-fi-humour-comedy"],"id":105006,"author_id":"John+Zakour"},{"text":"Great Gates almighty,” HARV said inside my brain. “I go off-line for a few nanos and the whole world goes to DOS.","author":"John Zakour","tags":["humor","sci-fi","sci-fi-humour-comedy"],"id":121523,"author_id":"John+Zakour"},{"text":" ‘Foo Kyu’ is just a very unfortunate cultural coincidence.'Just think about his poor son, ‘Foo Kyu Two.’. ","author":"John Zakour","tags":["humor","sci-fi","sci-fi-humour-comedy"],"id":122904,"author_id":"John+Zakour"},{"text":"I smiled, reached into my pockets and pulled out a pair of ultrapowerful earplugs, the kind that are standard issue for skyway construction workers, artillery soldiers, and roadies for the thirty-five most popular teen boy bands.","author":"John Zakour","tags":["humor","sci-fi","sci-fi-humour-comedy"],"id":163815,"author_id":"John+Zakour"},{"text":"Don't worry, boss,” HARV said. “I get the feeling that this is only the tip of the iceberg of complications.”“HARV, you’re a machine. You don’t get feelings.”“Would it make you feel better if I said I've done a numerical analysis on the probabilities and the results are skewed toward you having more problems with this case?","author":"John Zakour","tags":["humor","sci-fi","sci-fi-humour-comedy"],"id":184001,"author_id":"John+Zakour"},{"text":"Yeah, but will it hurt?”’ I asked.“This is science, Zach,” Randy said, reassuringly, as he tilted my head back and lowered the lens to my eye. “Of course it will hurt.","author":"John Zakour","tags":["humor","sci-fi","sci-fi-humour-comedy"],"id":188817,"author_id":"John+Zakour"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":23,"pages":3,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}