{"author":"Henry Cloud","author_id":"Henry+Cloud","total_quotes":53,"quotes":[{"text":"Encourage literally came from 'in courage.' The courage is put 'into' you from outside. Our character and abilities grow through internalizing from others what we do not possess in ourselves.","author":"Henry Cloud","tags":["character","character-defining","character-development","character-driven","character","encourage","integrity","integrity-knowledge","to-live-by"],"id":2916,"author_id":"Henry+Cloud"},{"text":"When people are vulnerable to control, they feel that they are selfish for deciding what to do with their own property. In reality, deciding for ourselves is the only way we can ever have true love, for then we are giving freely.","author":"Henry Cloud","tags":["choices","control","controlling-others","controlling-people","decisions","manipulative-people","selfish","vulnerability","vulnerable"],"id":11713,"author_id":"Henry+Cloud"},{"text":"This is one of the marks of a truly safe person: they are confrontable.","author":"Henry Cloud","tags":["confrontation","disagreements","healthy-relationships","relationships"],"id":19897,"author_id":"Henry+Cloud"},{"text":"When we ask we are owning our needs. Asking for love, comfort or understanding is a transaction between two people. You are saying: I have a need. It's not your problem. It's not your responsibility. You don't have to respond, but I'd like something from you. This frees the other person to connect with you freely and without obligation. When we own that our needs are our responsibility we allow others to love us because we have something to offer. Asking is a far cry from demanding. When we demand love, we destroy it.","author":"Henry Cloud","tags":["christian-living","self-help"],"id":43791,"author_id":"Henry+Cloud"},{"text":"Certainly, child rearing requires many different interventions. There are times for helping, for not getting involved, or for being strict, But the real issue is this: Is what you are going being done on purpose? Or are you doing it from reasons that you do not think about, such as your own personality, childhood, need of the moment, or fears?","author":"Henry Cloud","tags":["boundaries","family","kids","parenting"],"id":49708,"author_id":"Henry+Cloud"},{"text":"Many people will not be honest because they fear loss of intimacy and togetherness. In reality, honesty brings people closer together, for it will strengthen their identities. The more you realize your separate identities, the closer you can become. Telling loved ones what is really on your mind and telling others what you really think is the foundation of love.","author":"Henry Cloud","tags":["boundaries","friendships","healthy-relationships","honesty","identity","intimacy","relationships","trust"],"id":59904,"author_id":"Henry+Cloud"},{"text":"As a leader, you are always going to get a combination of two things: What you create and What you allow.","author":"Henry Cloud","tags":["influence","leadership","leadership"],"id":67397,"author_id":"Henry+Cloud"},{"text":"All of your precious resources - time, energy, talent, passion, and money - should only go to the areas of your life or your business that are best, are fixable, and are indespensable. Otherwise, average sets in and [your life] does not become what it was designed to be.","author":"Henry Cloud","tags":["discipline","focus","life","priorities","vision"],"id":77654,"author_id":"Henry+Cloud"},{"text":"If you do not forgive, you are demanding something your offender does not choose to give, even if it is only confession of what he did. This 'ties' him to you and ruins boundaries. Let the dysfunctional family you came from go. Cut it loose, and you will be free.","author":"Henry Cloud","tags":["boundaries","family","forgive","freedom"],"id":87876,"author_id":"Henry+Cloud"},{"text":"Who a person is will ultimately determine if their brains, talents, competencies, energy, effort, deal-making abilities, and opportunities will succeed.","author":"Henry Cloud","tags":["business","inspirational"],"id":110656,"author_id":"Henry+Cloud"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":53,"pages":6,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}