{"author":"H. Kirk Rainer","author_id":"H.+Kirk+Rainer","total_quotes":23,"quotes":[{"text":"If there is such a thing as depression and despair, I experienced it during the months leading-up to and following the divorce. Insomnia, constant and uncontrollable thoughts and a deep sense of loss were among the conditions of my life. Was I depressed? Yes, I was very much so and, what’s worse, was determined to do nothing immediately for it.","author":"H. Kirk Rainer","tags":["depression","disparity","divorce","family"],"id":4470,"author_id":"H.+Kirk+Rainer"},{"text":"I am grieved for my children—and boy’s in particular—that this modern age is emasculating men under the guise of “the best interest of the children”.","author":"H. Kirk Rainer","tags":["care","custody","divorce","faith","family"],"id":21763,"author_id":"H.+Kirk+Rainer"},{"text":"The conception of marriage that he formed as a young person and envisioned as an adult has been marred by circumstances that he believes could have been overcome without divorce. Yet, he still believes in marriage— the commitments and promises…. Coinciding with his commitments (and promises) is a very powerful force that he perceives as not only able, but is actually working to dismantle fathers, families and even faith if that were possible.","author":"H. Kirk Rainer","tags":["divorce","faith","family","fathers","marriage"],"id":28233,"author_id":"H.+Kirk+Rainer"},{"text":"If children matter, than whom more to stand in the gap than their parents; yet sadly, the parents (or a parent) can ironically become the chief enemy for which the children may hold in contempt…rather than care. Under the “abuse card”, the custodial parent has the aforementioned ability to operate as a double agent: on the one-side, the protector and caretaker; while on the other side, the divider and abuser. Similarly, the state can be integral to The System of dismantling the dad while appearing (and attesting) to be acting in the best interest of the children. Within the second of these two is the divorce industry that has benefited from the spoils of war without regard to the incomparable costs borne by our community and culture.","author":"H. Kirk Rainer","tags":["children","custody","divorce","falsehood","parenthood"],"id":73539,"author_id":"H.+Kirk+Rainer"},{"text":"In the closing of this chapter, Lutzer describes the choice of forgiveness in more detail: 'Without both honesty andforgiveness, there can be no freedom from the fits of rage.'What happens through the years when such anger is left unattended or is unresolved (or forgiveness is not pursued)? Without forgiveness, does the anger dissipate or possibly fade away? I don’t think so; but instead, anger continues in one’s life and is carried into their adulthood. What kind or level of control can manifest (or grow) in this unresolved anger; and as for the person or carrier, what can be expected of their heart and soul?","author":"H. Kirk Rainer","tags":["custody","divorce","forgiveness","freedom","rage"],"id":113288,"author_id":"H.+Kirk+Rainer"},{"text":"A mosaic of memories takes me back to my own childhood, and then to my children. My earliest memory of St. Augustine was a day trip from Jacksonville; a day with some neighbors who were nice enough to purchase me a plastic toy-tugboat with a blue superstructure and white hull. Other accounts meld into my adult years. With its history and attractions, The Ancient City is pristine and picturesque by most accounts; but from the Newer Jail (not the Old Jail) , the perspective is very different.","author":"H. Kirk Rainer","tags":["childhood","courts","jail","law","st-augustine"],"id":120251,"author_id":"H.+Kirk+Rainer"},{"text":"A faraway-father is distant from his children; not necessarily in geography, but socially—either by choice or by force. Our country has many fathers who are figuratively-forced far and away from their families. Legal force brings to bear disparate dads through such innovations as no-fault divorce, legal precedence, and post-divorce incrimination. I am one of these parents—portrayed or profiled as 'perpetrator'.","author":"H. Kirk Rainer","tags":["courts","custody","fatherhood","jail","law"],"id":120619,"author_id":"H.+Kirk+Rainer"},{"text":"I was once, I am, and I will always be my children’s father. As to those individuals who have tried so desperately to destroy the fact, I offer forgiveness and seekreconciliation. As to the institutions that have supported the effort to destroy the fact, I pray that: Lady Justice will seek the truth rather than excuse it; and that she will extol the American family rather than destroy it.","author":"H. Kirk Rainer","tags":["destruction","fatherhood","institutions","justice","reconciliation"],"id":131296,"author_id":"H.+Kirk+Rainer"},{"text":"ERemember though, that happiness can never be achieved through the expectations levied on another; such a notion is not doomed to fail—but is just doomed! Happiness can never be achieved through the distress or destruction that one imposes on the other person. When a child, now grown-up, does not resolve their deep-seeded anger with a parent or parents, the “other person” plays Hell trying to make-up for it. Married, divorced or dead, the 'other person' can never replace what was lost so muchearlier in the life and soul of the oppressed. Forgiveness must be the course for any future, substantive relationships.","author":"H. Kirk Rainer","tags":["expectations","forgiveness","happiness","oppression","relationships"],"id":179180,"author_id":"H.+Kirk+Rainer"},{"text":"I acknowledge that a wife does (and should) exercise a degree of control in the family and home; but what I present is not a constructive form aimed at supporting a healthy relationship, but a destructive form that—whether intended or not—destroys a relationship through the invocation of fear and flight rather than love and commitment. I also propose that this method or “device” (as I have called it) was learned in part from a very young age from her parents.","author":"H. Kirk Rainer","tags":["commitment","family","home","love","marriage"],"id":185305,"author_id":"H.+Kirk+Rainer"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":23,"pages":3,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}