{"author":"Gena Showalter","author_id":"Gena+Showalter","total_quotes":124,"quotes":[{"text":"And okay, fine. If you have to kiss her, you have to kiss her. And believe me, I do not envy you. That's taking one for the team a little far. I mean, I think I'd rather endure the stabbing myself instead of having to kiss her.","author":"Gena Showalter","tags":["comedy","kiss","stabbing"],"id":1367,"author_id":"Gena+Showalter"},{"text":"Happy to say you passed the sobriety test. Sad to say you failed the asshole test.","author":"Gena Showalter","tags":["asshole","attitude","sober","sobriety","test"],"id":3577,"author_id":"Gena+Showalter"},{"text":"I’m not trying to—What do teenagers say nowadays?” he asked my grandmother.“Get all up in her biznez,” Nana said.Without cracking a smile.“That’s right,” he replied. “We’re not trying to get all up in your biznez, Ali.","author":"Gena Showalter","tags":["funny","grandparents","teenage-slang"],"id":5102,"author_id":"Gena+Showalter"},{"text":"Are you suggesting I’m working with thezombies? That I paid them to pretend toattack me so that I’d trick you into letting me join you?”“Did you?” Mr. Holland demanded.“Yeah, okay,” I said in a sugar-sweet tone. “You’re right. I was having dinner with Zombie Carl the other night. You know, steaks, rare, and a bottle of vintage type A. He told me all his secrets, but too bad for you I promised him I wouldn’t tell. In exchange I asked him to gather hisbest undead buddies and stalk me throughmy friend’s yard. And oh, yeah, it wastotally fine if they wanted to use me as an all-night dinner buffet, because having organs is so last season.","author":"Gena Showalter","tags":["funny","paranormal-romance","sarcasm","zombie"],"id":10047,"author_id":"Gena+Showalter"},{"text":"Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you.","author":"Gena Showalter","tags":["funny","insult","poem"],"id":13609,"author_id":"Gena+Showalter"},{"text":"Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on a Date.1. You're wearing that?2. Something smells funny.3. Where's the Tylenol?4. And to think, I first wanted to date your brother.5. I have a confession to make…6. My dad has a suit just like that.7. That man is hot. Look at him.8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever…9. You're going to order that? Seriously?10. You're how old?","author":"Gena Showalter","tags":["dating","funny"],"id":27603,"author_id":"Gena+Showalter"},{"text":"Sighing, she shut the book with a snap. “All right. You need to vent, so I’ll listen to you vent. But do it quickly, because Rydstorm was about to plunder Sabine with his thick, hard—.","author":"Gena Showalter","tags":["kindlehighlight"],"id":27950,"author_id":"Gena+Showalter"},{"text":"Um I'm happy to sit close to you and everything, but I had no idea you would like it so much,' Paris muttered.","author":"Gena Showalter","tags":["funny","showalter"],"id":31639,"author_id":"Gena+Showalter"},{"text":"She's beauty and she's the beast, rolled into one.","author":"Gena Showalter","tags":["beauty","funny","love"],"id":33749,"author_id":"Gena+Showalter"},{"text":"That means life itself is a fairy tale. Like the characters, we all live and love and search for a happily-ever-after.","author":"Gena Showalter","tags":["life"],"id":39588,"author_id":"Gena+Showalter"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":124,"pages":13,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}