{"author":"Fred Barnett","author_id":"Fred+Barnett","total_quotes":18,"quotes":[{"text":"Gentle With Them Thar Spurs'—a sequel to 'Riders of the Purple Sau-Sage.' Spurs was the feminist novel of its day…which was Tuesday.' —Bats 2015.","author":"Fred Barnett","tags":["bats","vampires","western"],"id":31816,"author_id":"Fred+Barnett"},{"text":"Depart, Satan,' she said, with a complete lack of enthusiasm. — Bats 2015.","author":"Fred Barnett","tags":["bats","vampires"],"id":77666,"author_id":"Fred+Barnett"},{"text":"Bolts of energy swirled in the air and streamed into Dave’s butt. Dave sneezed ... No. He farted through his nose.","author":"Fred Barnett","tags":["black-holes","cats"],"id":160673,"author_id":"Fred+Barnett"},{"text":"Wichtor’s been cranky ever since a fat vulture roosted on his granite Cârnat, uh, schmekel in 1864 and broke it off.' — Bats 2015.","author":"Fred Barnett","tags":["bats","vampires"],"id":167485,"author_id":"Fred+Barnett"},{"text":"He sniffed until the long hairs of his mustache had been sucked up into his nose and out of his leafy ears.' — Bats 2015.","author":"Fred Barnett","tags":["bats","vampires"],"id":196736,"author_id":"Fred+Barnett"},{"text":"Elizabeth served herself to Vlad upon the Lazy Susan (Susan wasn’t lazy. She was actually dead.' — Bats 2015.","author":"Fred Barnett","tags":["bats","vampires"],"id":204429,"author_id":"Fred+Barnett"},{"text":"Vlad was sexting Elizabeth a picture of his pulă rigiditate, while he told Mina. “I vould like totally hang up on the dude. He’s no Baldwin.' — Bats 2015.","author":"Fred Barnett","tags":["bats","vampires"],"id":212079,"author_id":"Fred+Barnett"},{"text":"...An ambitious array of dishonorable intentions that he intended to wield upon the Countess’s nether regions. — BATS 2015.","author":"Fred Barnett","tags":["bats","vampires"],"id":216137,"author_id":"Fred+Barnett"},{"text":"...Causing her eyes to bulge and her tongue to flick from behind her luscious lips, scaring away insects.' — Amok 2015.","author":"Fred Barnett","tags":["dna","evolution"],"id":236988,"author_id":"Fred+Barnett"},{"text":"Do it for the kids! The ones who look up to you — especially when they are pleading for their lives.' — Bats 2015.","author":"Fred Barnett","tags":["bats","vampires"],"id":256516,"author_id":"Fred+Barnett"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":18,"pages":2,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}