{"author":"David L. Conroy","author_id":"David+L.+Conroy","total_quotes":13,"quotes":[{"text":"The circles of shame are vicious. Painful feelings of shame help cause people to be depressed and suicidal, these in turn become shameful aspects of the self. Being angry does not necessarily cause more anger, being envious does not necessarily cause more envy (though once we envy, we can also envy someone's lack of envy), but, in our culture at least, shame (and envy and self-pity) are things to be ashamed about. The two common feelings of suicide are hopelessness and powerlessness; each is shameful, and this additional experience of shame adds pain on pain. A man who despairs because he feels his prospects of having a family are hopeless also feels he will never lose the feeling of shame over being wifeless and childless. To be powerless to change one's life in ways that others can is cause to feel ashamed of one's powerlessness.","author":"David L. Conroy","tags":["anger","depressed","depression","envy","family","hopelessness","infertility","powerlessness","self-pity","shame","suicidal","suicide"],"id":37589,"author_id":"David+L.+Conroy"},{"text":"Suicidal pain includes the feeling that one has lost all capacity to effect emotional change. The agony is excruciating and looks as if it will never end. There is the feeling of having been beaten down for a very long time. There are feelings of agitation, emptiness, and incoherence. 'Snap out of it and get on with your life,' sounds like a demand to high jump ten feet.","author":"David L. Conroy","tags":["agitation","depression","emptiness","hopelessness","incoherence","snap-out-of-it","suffering","suicidal-pain","suicide"],"id":55655,"author_id":"David+L.+Conroy"},{"text":"Despair, grief, and depression are not things that people can simply stop, any more than someone can will an end to a toothache or the pain of withdrawal. Acutely suicidal people have lost all sense of having power over their pain. To tell them to magically acquire will power is like asking a crippled person to race against a champion. It does not help them do the thing in question; it just makes them feel worse.","author":"David L. Conroy","tags":["depression","despair","grief","suicide","will-power"],"id":57852,"author_id":"David+L.+Conroy"},{"text":"To be subjected to pain that threatens to exceed coping resources is not something that people choose.","author":"David L. Conroy","tags":["coping","depression","involuntarism","pain","resources","suicide"],"id":106645,"author_id":"David+L.+Conroy"},{"text":"Both the suicidal and non-suicidal are often angry with others. One way to discharge this anger is to fantasize about violent revenge. The insults of daily life often cause fantasies of revenge to flare up and quickly subside. The people with these fantasies usually do not act on them; they are not motives or goals. They are involuntary responses to perceived insult—ways of coping with rage. The suicidal, whether or not they attempt, suffer tremendous and persistent pain and anger. That this pain should find its way into their fantasies and dreams is no surprise. This ideation is not a motive for action; it is an alternative to action. Fantasizing about suicide is an effort to delay or avoid suicide, not the activity of formulating a motive, goal, or intention. Fantasies doubtlessly succeed in preventing many attempts.","author":"David L. Conroy","tags":["anger","depression","fantasize","ideation","involuntarism","rage","suicidal-ideation","suicide"],"id":125509,"author_id":"David+L.+Conroy"},{"text":"Do human beings have an infinite amount of energy with which to resist death? It is kinder and more accurate to say that they fought until they had no more fight left in them.","author":"David L. Conroy","tags":["depression","involuntarism","suicide"],"id":135020,"author_id":"David+L.+Conroy"},{"text":"Even if we accept the view that biochemical imbalances may contribute to depression and suicide, it is a mistake to assume that the biochemical aspect of the problem is entirely within the victim. It is also partly within the physiological makeup of the people around the suicide.","author":"David L. Conroy","tags":["antidepressants","biochemical-imbalance","depression","medication","physiological-chemistry","society","suicide"],"id":241235,"author_id":"David+L.+Conroy"},{"text":"The depressed and the suicidal are often lonely and inhibited. Discussions of inhibition in this context usually emphasize fear of rejection.","author":"David L. Conroy","tags":["depression","fear","inhibition","lonely","rejection","suicidal","suicide"],"id":249954,"author_id":"David+L.+Conroy"},{"text":"When we criticize the suicidal for being selfish, we are actually criticizing them for not enduring their pain with grace and good manners. These are nice qualities; we may be correct to reproach average citizens for not having them. But to expect everyone in pain to have them is unrealistic. Bearing pain quietly is what moralists call a supererogatory act--an act that is above the call of duty. Expecting everyone to who is suicidal to behave in a way that is morally above average is simply abusive.","author":"David L. Conroy","tags":["criticism","depression","selfish","stigma","suicide"],"id":277925,"author_id":"David+L.+Conroy"},{"text":"The suicidal lead shame-drenched lives.","author":"David L. Conroy","tags":["depression","shame","suicidal","suicide"],"id":392443,"author_id":"David+L.+Conroy"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":13,"pages":2,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}