{"author":"Darynda Jones","author_id":"Darynda+Jones","total_quotes":116,"quotes":[{"text":"My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.","author":"Darynda Jones","tags":["funny","humour"],"id":9182,"author_id":"Darynda+Jones"},{"text":"I also become the local computer nerd. The administration brings me in to fix all the computers, I create viruses to invade at a specific day and time. They call me in, and I eradicate my own virus, only to plant another one to go into effect a couple months later. They ask me why I can't just fix the computers once and for all. I tell them to quit going to porn sites and it will stay fixed. That shuts them up every time.","author":"Darynda Jones","tags":["computer","prison","viruses"],"id":11292,"author_id":"Darynda+Jones"},{"text":"I think the first draft is so challenging because that elusive BALANCE is so challenging.","author":"Darynda Jones","tags":["writing-advice"],"id":14653,"author_id":"Darynda+Jones"},{"text":"While the goal of a book is to create a positive emotional experience for the reader, the goal of the opening is to set the stage, to pull the reader in.","author":"Darynda Jones","tags":["ruby-slippered-sisterhood","the-secret-to-winning","writing","writing-advice"],"id":18060,"author_id":"Darynda+Jones"},{"text":"Want coffee?' I asked, as I headed that way.'It's three thirty in the morning.'Okay. Want coffee?","author":"Darynda Jones","tags":["charley","coffee","humor"],"id":18928,"author_id":"Darynda+Jones"},{"text":"In that one, they'd done their darnedest to destroy Riley's Switch. This time, instead of two-by-fours and tire irons, they seemed a little more focused on choke holds and knees to the face. Their desire to be close to each other was sweet.","author":"Darynda Jones","tags":["fight","humour"],"id":24646,"author_id":"Darynda+Jones"},{"text":"Why do you suppose I’m here?” I asked him. Angel. A thirteen-year-old departed gangbanger. “Just ’cause you’re supposed to be, I guess.","author":"Darynda Jones","tags":["destiny"],"id":28735,"author_id":"Darynda+Jones"},{"text":"He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.","author":"Darynda Jones","tags":["charley-davidson","first-grave-on-the-right","funny"],"id":29158,"author_id":"Darynda+Jones"},{"text":"I've been rejected a hundred times. It just takes that one person who totally believes in you!","author":"Darynda Jones","tags":["writing-advice"],"id":30034,"author_id":"Darynda+Jones"},{"text":"Ambulances were cool. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT as I picked up a silver gadget that looked disturbingly like an alien orifice probe, broke it, then promptly put it back, hoping it wouldn’t leave someone’s life hanging in the balance because the EMT couldn’t alien-probe his orifices.","author":"Darynda Jones","tags":["aliens","humor"],"id":37696,"author_id":"Darynda+Jones"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":116,"pages":12,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}