{"author":"Dark Jar Tin Zoo","author_id":"Dark+Jar+Tin+Zoo","total_quotes":19,"quotes":[{"text":"I had a dream about you. At first you were a mannequin, and I was a fashion designer. Then, inexplicably, we switched roles and I became the mannequin. But instead of putting clothes on me, you laughed at my nakedness, and you sold me to the owner of a sex shop.","author":"Dark Jar Tin Zoo","tags":["dreaming","dreams","funny","humor","life","relationships","sleep","sleeping"],"id":4184,"author_id":"Dark+Jar+Tin+Zoo"},{"text":"Love is like encountering a forest and having to chop down every tree but one. Oh, and you have to chop down each tree by hugging it until it falls.","author":"Dark Jar Tin Zoo","tags":["forestry","funny","hug","hugging","humor","love","tree-hugger","trees"],"id":4225,"author_id":"Dark+Jar+Tin+Zoo"},{"text":"She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.","author":"Dark Jar Tin Zoo","tags":["dinner","food","funny","honesty","humor","love","relationships","word-junkies"],"id":12606,"author_id":"Dark+Jar+Tin+Zoo"},{"text":"I love like I’m thirsty. Can I offer you a tall glass of Sahara sand?","author":"Dark Jar Tin Zoo","tags":["desert","drink","food","funny","hospitality","humor","kindness","love","sahara","sand","thirst","thirsty"],"id":38943,"author_id":"Dark+Jar+Tin+Zoo"},{"text":"I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it’s a 5-point scale, though I asked her on a 1-100 scale.","author":"Dark Jar Tin Zoo","tags":["answer","deceit","deceived","deception","delirious","funny","humor","love","numbers","question","rate","rating","scale"],"id":79389,"author_id":"Dark+Jar+Tin+Zoo"},{"text":"To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.","author":"Dark Jar Tin Zoo","tags":["broken","deceit","deception","denial","deny","funny","honest","honesty","humor","illogical","illusion","lie","lie-detector","lies","life","love","machine","relationships","suspicion","women","word-junkies"],"id":80343,"author_id":"Dark+Jar+Tin+Zoo"},{"text":"I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death.","author":"Dark Jar Tin Zoo","tags":["cold","death","drown","freeze","freezing","funny","humor","ice","love","nature","relationships","river","water","winter"],"id":101087,"author_id":"Dark+Jar+Tin+Zoo"},{"text":"I had a dream about you. You looked like you, but you also looked like a mannequin. And I looked like me, but I also looked like a mannequin. Between the two of us, we were too fake even for Hollywood. And as such, we were forced to reside in Washington DC.","author":"Dark Jar Tin Zoo","tags":["dreaming","dreams","funny","humor","life","relationships","sleep","sleeping"],"id":225952,"author_id":"Dark+Jar+Tin+Zoo"},{"text":"I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.","author":"Dark Jar Tin Zoo","tags":["funny","humor","jealous","jealousy","love","sensitive","word-junkies"],"id":281002,"author_id":"Dark+Jar+Tin+Zoo"},{"text":"We had an unspoken love for one another. Probably because she’d never talk to me or return my phone calls or texts.","author":"Dark Jar Tin Zoo","tags":["communicate","communication","converse","dialogue","funny","humor","love","talking"],"id":287199,"author_id":"Dark+Jar+Tin+Zoo"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":19,"pages":2,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}