{"author":"Brian Spellman","author_id":"Brian+Spellman","total_quotes":70,"quotes":[{"text":"I was accused of always acting superior. Always means being, not acting.","author":"Brian Spellman","tags":["arrogance","conceit","double-entendre","humor"],"id":17058,"author_id":"Brian+Spellman"},{"text":"If life was fair ... One third of the people would comprise of judges and lawyers ... One third of police and prison officials ... And one third of legislators ... And one third more to make the other three thirds make any sense at all .... Thank goodness for no fair.","author":"Brian Spellman","tags":["crime-and-punishment","fairness","judges-and-justice","law","lawyers","legislators","police-state","prison"],"id":18227,"author_id":"Brian+Spellman"},{"text":"If you sense so badly that you also sense a need to make me sense that, then I sense sadly that you cannot make better sense ... Sadder still if you cannot sense my sincerity.","author":"Brian Spellman","tags":["hatred","serial-killer","serial-killers"],"id":23513,"author_id":"Brian+Spellman"},{"text":"Life is short unless agony is long.","author":"Brian Spellman","tags":["humor","life-philosophy","pain","pessimism","pessimist","pessimistic"],"id":42282,"author_id":"Brian+Spellman"},{"text":"A bind is when you're quadriplegic, suicidal about that and unable to persuade your best friend to murder you.","author":"Brian Spellman","tags":["disability","disabled","suicide","suicide-attempt"],"id":43541,"author_id":"Brian+Spellman"},{"text":"I overreacted to praise, signing an autograph. I'd write a check to buy it back.","author":"Brian Spellman","tags":["arrogance","conceit","humility","paraprosdokian","puns"],"id":46526,"author_id":"Brian+Spellman"},{"text":"There's an ad for every vice. That's advice.","author":"Brian Spellman","tags":["advertising","advice","vice"],"id":50137,"author_id":"Brian+Spellman"},{"text":"I can't name just one example. Then there's only one.","author":"Brian Spellman","tags":["confusion","double-entendre","educational","humor"],"id":51682,"author_id":"Brian+Spellman"},{"text":"Self talk and self prayer: When you audible the first and correctly interpret, the white coats correct you in a nuthouse. When you audible the second and misinterpret, the dinner coats swear you to an oath in the White House. Does this make you nuts too? Then outfit your sanity seeking political asylum at my house.","author":"Brian Spellman","tags":["atheism","humor","oaths","prayer","sanity","skepticism","skepticism-of-religion"],"id":58214,"author_id":"Brian+Spellman"},{"text":"The fine line between genius and madness is a punch line. Duck, you idiot!","author":"Brian Spellman","tags":["aphorisms","genius","madness"],"id":84504,"author_id":"Brian+Spellman"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":70,"pages":7,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}