{"author":"Brian South","author_id":"Brian+South","total_quotes":8,"quotes":[{"text":"The less one knows about meat, the more one is able to enjoy it. Meat tastes wonderful, of course, but as with the lad hawking hard-to-find wares at unbelievable prices, it’s best not to ask too many questions.","author":"Brian South","tags":["horror","humor","meat","zombies"],"id":3951,"author_id":"Brian+South"},{"text":"Sometimes the thing one wants most is the very thing that will get him killed with an axe.","author":"Brian South","tags":["humor","zombies"],"id":53520,"author_id":"Brian+South"},{"text":"This is why it is important never to pick or smell flowers, and to always wear headgear when admiring them.","author":"Brian South","tags":["horror","humor","zombies"],"id":75857,"author_id":"Brian+South"},{"text":"When asked what profession they like least, most people will give the obvious answer: clowns.","author":"Brian South","tags":["clowns","horror","humor","zombies"],"id":147634,"author_id":"Brian+South"},{"text":"They say revenge is a dish best served cold. This isn’t correct. Revenge is a dish best served lukewarm or at room temperature (depending on the room) with a side of sauerkraut lightly sprinkled with pepper, a generous helping of golden brown roasted potatoes, and a large loaf of marble rye, washed down with any kind of unfiltered wheat beer.But whatever you do—and remember this, as it can be a matter of life or death—don’t put any sort of fruit in the beer. Fruit doesn’t belong in beer.","author":"Brian South","tags":["beer","horror","humor","revenge","sauerkraut","zombies"],"id":219823,"author_id":"Brian+South"},{"text":"Brunch is such an odd thing. It was created by fat, lazy people who were too lazy to wake up at a reasonable hour and too fat to wait until the next proper time for dining.","author":"Brian South","tags":["brunch","horror","humor","zombies"],"id":437298,"author_id":"Brian+South"},{"text":"The toughest part about riding a horse is overcoming the urge to eat it.","author":"Brian South","tags":["humor","zombies"],"id":469098,"author_id":"Brian+South"},{"text":"Nothing says you care like sending someone a kitten.","author":"Brian South","tags":["cat","horror","humor","kitten","zombies"],"id":471600,"author_id":"Brian+South"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":8,"pages":1}}